Rethinking the "Man's Man"

Thanks to Peter, who just sent me a very interesting article: "Honor Before Sex, Men Reveal in Survey."  

I had missed this study, which was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in August, but after polling 27,839 men in eight countries, it turns out that "The male ideal of a 'man's man' is a guy who's responsible, honourable and a devoted partner, not one who's always on the prowl for sex or driven by his career, an international study says."  

This topic has new relevance to me because I just participated in a debate at Oxford about whether promiscuity is a virtue, and people keep asking me whether the affirmative team actually defended promiscuity as a virtue.  The answer is no--they did not.  What they argued was that if men can be promiscuous, so, too, should women.  To which I replied that promiscuity was good for no one--but also, why are some feminists always bent on imitating the most immature, caddish male? If you're going to imitate men, why not imitate the honorable, faithful ones?  (Of which there are many.)  

Or better yet, why not simply be ourselves? 

We did officially win the debate in case you were wondering.  But this particular battle, I fear, is far from over. 

How To Think About Sex

An editor at the New York Times online asked me to contribute to their "Freakonomics" forum, and how could I resist it with this title. . . .

So, how do you think sex will be perceived in 30 years? 

And on a more mundane subject, have a great weekend!

Summertime, and the Blogging is Easy

Well, my son is finally in a playgroup for a few hours a day, in preparation for the big march to junior kindergarten next year.  And I am adjusting the only way I know how: by blogging, of course.

So please come visit my new site and say hello--I would love to hear from you, and hear your thoughts as always.

p.s. Rumors that I followed the preschool "field trip" bus have been greatly exaggerated.  My husband and I merely trailed the bus one way, keeping a defensive-driving distance until I could verify that the driver was signaling properly and taking the less-trafficked routes; and of course, that they were all really going where they said they were going.  I'm sure all of you would do the same.  :-)

Medical Modesty

A friend of mine has a daughter with Down Syndrome, and she recently sent me this video which I thought was very well done. 

Here's what my friend wrote:

For the record, I'm personally 'pro-choice'. Though I feel strongly that when it comes to Down syndrome, the whole notion of 'choice' has been virtually eliminated and replaced with fear and inaccurate information. Parents should be given the opportunity to make an educated choice. The medical establishment has not allowed that to happen. The overwhelming majority of people with Down syndrome live happy, healthy, productive and long lives; even those babies with DS who are born with major heart defects go on to thrive. Parents need to know this BEFORE they make their choice.

I fear that a generation from now, there will be no people with Down syndrome. And this trend will only serve to facilitate more prenatal testing, and a desperation to eliminate all differences or exceptionalities.

The world will be a much less beautiful and compassionate place as a result.

To me, a poignant reminder of that "other" kind of modesty: knowing our own limitations, while not rushing to assume that we know other people's.

Take Back the Campus

So, "Modest Proposals" really did happen this past Tuesday night--and I'm happy to report that a good time was had by all!

For those who were interested but couldn't make it, I wrote up a full report.

"Where/How Do You Find a Good Man?"

Thoughts on the eternal question, prompted by a high school girl.

A Letter Writing Campaign...to Grandma

"I received a very nice and interesting letter from a reader over the weekend.  Not an e-mail, mind you, but an actual two page, single-spaced letter on real stationery. . . "

(To read the whole blog and post comments, visit girlsgonemild.)

(Don't) Get Over it, Charlotte

"Today, people are so emotionally repressed, they are even annoyed by fictional characters who care. . . ."

(To read the whole blog and post comments, visit girlsgonemild.)

A Young Woman Speaks Out

"You're probably wondering about my boyfriend's opinions. Well, as far as sex goes, he thinks it's all for fun. He rarely tells me he loves me. As a matter of fact, he told me that since we are only in highschool, our relationship isn't "serious"." . . .

(To read the whole blog and post comments, visit girlsgonemild.)

False Choices

On one of the shows I've recently been on--thus preventing me from blogging the past week, sorry--I had a very eye-opening experience.  I was relaxing in the green room when I overheard a producer coaching one of the many young women they'd assembled to oppose me in the segment. "Remember," she reminded the girl, "It's your choice to wear a mini- skirt.  And you're gonna say to Wendy, 'It's my choice to wear a short skirt!"  It was a rare moment of comedy amidst the stress and hustle of preparing for a TV segment.

After the segment, when this young woman realized that . . .

(To read more and post comments, go to the Girls Gone Mild blog.)