Modestly Yours

A Touching Moment of Modesty

I consider my cousin to be the most beautiful woman I know. Everything about her twenty-one-year-old figure, skin, lips, eyes, cheek bones--you name it, is sculpted to perfection.  Not only is she perfectly gorgeous, but more importantly, she is a kind, self confident, and happy person.

In short, I love and admire her very much.  That is why I was extremely excited when she decided to extend her trip to Israel and come stay with me for a few days.  During this time, we shared many special conversations. One of these conversations sticks out of my mind more than any other. 

As a modern Orthodox Jewish institution, my school requires that all of the women who attend my school or walk around the campus wear modest clothing with a high neckline and skirts that fall below the knee.  Since she was staying in my dorm, my cousin was asked to follow the same dress code.

It happened as we were walking down a flight of stairs towards the train station. She suddenly said, "I love skirts! I feel so much more free in them than pants!  I feel so much less self conscious!  It's so much easier to concentrate when you aren't worrying about how everyone is judging your body in your clothing." 

Hearing this from my cousin was surprising, because she rarely wears this style of clothing.  I just thought she never payed attention to the constant stares she got.

For me, this experience really encompassed the essence of what makes modesty the real path towards female empowerment.

Are we Really Just Mammals?

As I was listening to my friend's iTunes play list today, I heard this opening line to a song by the Bloodhound Gang. "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on the discovery channel."  I found this to be quite disgusting.  Thank you very much Mr. Bloodhound Gang, but I think I am a little more than any old mammal. 

Let's review what these differences are, shall we?

1. I can choose my mate based on intellect and personal connection, rather than simply how well he is built.

2. I also have a set of morals and ideals.  The closest non-humans can get to that is finding a mate who can fulfill the ideal of being an able bodied protector who is able to bring home enough food to feed his mate and offspring.

3. Humans are also known for something commonly known as modesty (however rare that may seem nowadays). Most people like to wear some sort of clothing to cover the private areas of their bodies, whereas animals tend not to exhibit modesty.

Does anyone have other differences to add to the list?

 

We're all Girls Here

The other night, an interesting discussion took place in my dorm room.  One of my roommates asked the others present if openly taking off her bra in our room would make us uncomfortable.  Living in an all-girl's house with very limited space, some levels of nakedness have to be accepted out of pure necessity, but we always manage to keep something on our bodies in the process.   

The common feeling in the room up to that point had been "We're all girls here, we don't care." However, looking around the room, we each realized: We may all be girls, but we are each our own person with limits on how far familiarity between the same sex can be stretched without it becoming inappropriate.

So there's something that isn't often discussed: modesty between people of the same sex.

Shape calls this Fall's Fashion "the ultimate balance of power"

I am a huge fan of Shape magazine, a women's fitness magazine.  It is full of great tips about how to lead a healthy lifestyle and spends a great deal of time focusing on how to make one's self happy.  As is the nature of any fitness magazine, there are lots of nearly nude bodies and always at least one tip about how sex will make it all better.  They constantly promote slimmer, sexier bodies, and encourage their readers to show off their results as a way to boost self confidence. 

So how very surprised I was just now to open up the fashion section to find the following quote: "The ultimate balance of power: a full, flouncy skirt... trench coat... and wool skirt". 

Although more coverage is a natural trend as the weather gets cooler, to me, the statement "the ultimate balance of power" expresses what I believe to be the highest function of clothing.  Since this season is all about dressing up the classic business suit, the message being sent is female power through clothing.  The section is titled "road to the white house" and the settings are outside in D.C., in the Oval Office, behind a podium, at monuments, and other famous places throughout D.C.

Captions under other pictures include phrases such as "strong statement" and "embody the elegance of a bygone era."

Empowerment and strength through modesty?  Now that's a fall trend I can finally get behind. 

Keep A Way Way (from the Cradle)

As far as I know, rap was always sung by older people who knew what they were talking about (unfortunately).  However, this afternoon as the song I was listening to on Launch (Yahoo's music data base) ended, the next song that came on turned out to be a rap song called "A Bay Bay" by Hurricane Chris.  I turned it off, but only after hearing the introduction- a large group of little children's voices rapping "Bay bay bay, bay bay bay" and then looking at the music video and seeing a three year old child in an oversized T and wearing "bling bling" and dancing in a way. . .let's just say, a way that a three year old doesn't dance naturally.  I was repulsed and shocked that some rappers have extended their chorus for the "dirty rap" out to little children.  I googled the lyrics to see exactly what it was these children were being made a part of and this is part of what I found:

When I See A Bad Chik Im Hollerin Out (Ay Bay Bay)
I Hope Yall Ain't Wit Ya Boyfriendz
Cause I Don't Care Wat Dey Say
And I Don't Care Wat He Say Or She Say
Im In Da Dj Booth Takin' Pictures Wit Da Dj

I then remembered and searched another rap song called "Chain hang Low" by Jipp, a play off of the children's song "Do Your Ears Hang Low" to see how the children backup singers are portrayed in the video.  Instead what I got was another song called "Pop Lock and Drop It" by Huey.  This proved to be really sad as well.  Girls no older than twelve were displayed dancing "dirty" along with older girls and guys.

What do you think--is it harmless fun for the kids, or does it do damage?

It's Expensive to Look Cheap

I recently went shopping at a shopping center next to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.  I passed by an area where some beautiful wrap-around skirts (very popular in Israel) were being sold.  My friend and I began looking through the racks when we found the extremely short mini-skirt version of the long wrap-around.  My friend and I were admiring the fabrics in the skirt when we noticed the price.  The two styles cost the same exact amount! We were in shock.  How could anyone justify buying a skirt that a) barely covers their butt and b) costs the same amount as a skirt that has four times the amount of fabric?

People willingly pay more to make themselves look sexier or skinnier or whatever it is that makes them feel better about the way they look.  I think this is okay; people are allowed to want to look good and do whatever they think will help them feel good about the way they look--to a certain extent.  The only problem most of the time is that people are paying to make themselves look good in a cheap way. Women  will do anything, even pay a hundred bucks for a skirt that should be going for five dollars to look instantly appealing and desirable.  Unfortunately, being picked up that quickly also usually means they will be dropped just as fast.

Setting Limits

Hi everyone!  This is my first post, so it is very nice to meet all of you. 

I recently finished a month-long summer program in Israel. My peers and I shared many interesting conversations on the topic of modesty because my clothing style (skirts beneath my knees and sleeves that cover my shoulder) were not exactly the most comfortable way to be dressing in 110 degree weather.  "Why", they would ask me, "do you torture your self like this?"  I would then explain how my dress assures me that people appreciate my mind, not my body, and how really, it is not all that bad. 

One conversation sticks out in my mind more than others.  It was still the first week and everyone was still getting to know each other.  A couple of kids decided to sneak out and party with the locals while others slept and still others sat up and talked among ourselves.  I was in the last category.  The conversation turned to moral limits and why we choose to be more conservative than our friends who were our drinking and doing who knows what with the boys.

My friend turned to me and confided, "In my school, the freshmen are hazed based on whether they are virgins or not.  The virgins are then pressured to lose that status as quickly as possible.  I can't take the pressure anymore!  This was what I was trying to get away from at home and I just ran right back into it."

I found several things wrong with this statement. Firstly, why is there hazing, secondly, why should she worry about satisfying what others believe is a healthy sexual lifestyle, but thirdly, WHY SHOULD ANYONE EVEN BE PRESSURED INTO DIVULGING THAT KIND OF INFORMATION ABOUT THEMSELVES??