Oh hey guys, don’t even worry about how long it’s been since I’ve posted here. I’ve been a little busy adjusting to a new city-- making friends, nesting in the new apartment, complaining about traffic, the usual. But, since moving here, I’ve become more acquainted with a new phenomenon some of my friends have embraced whole-heartedly, and to generally positive results: Internet dating*.
Recently I was chatting with some friends about this apparent epidemic (something like 20% of relationships begin online these days), and whether or not we should just succumb to it. One of my guy friends said something that first made me laugh, but then made me think: “Yea, I should probably just give in and try it out, but it’s just… the shame! I mean, what if someone I know sees me on there?!?”
My roommate and I quickly agreed—what if someone we know saw it? Not only would they see all the embarrassing stuff we put on our profile, but they would know we were desperate enough to turn to a dating site. Add to that the potential hundreds of men who would read our personal details while searching the sites, and it's an exposure level too high for my tastes. The risk of embarrassment inherent in the concept is enough to keep me far away from joining up, even though the ranks of my friends who’ve found love online continue to swell.
So ladies, and gents, the point is this: is this shame a legitimate part of being a modest lady, or is it just fear of the unknown? Are dating sites a useful way to meet and sort through potential mates more quickly, or do they totally kill the element of mystery that surrounds dating?
As of now, I want to believe that a desire for a little privacy, and a traditional courtship is still acceptable. I want that, even in a world where minute romantic details are instantly documented on our social networking sites, and where we're expected to fully and candidly reveal ourselves (complete with aspirations, personality, and taste in music) for anyone with a computer to see. I want a guy who's willing to put in a little more work than a few mouse clicks to get to know me, and I want to take the time to really understand him. Maybe that’s just me being old-fashioned, but I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time.
*I know a lot of you are already married and thus exempt from such absurdities, so feel free to skip this one, unless you want to relive the torturous days of your singledom. I am certain my misadventures will remind you that even if their breath is kind of gross in the morning, being married to your husband/wife is way better than having to date.