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September 07, 2011

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Robin Goodfellow

Monica,

First, thank you for being awesome.

I've typically only read posts here that from a very religious background, and it was nice to read something that contained very little bias of that variety.

Question though. What made you want to wait until marriage? Was it how you were raised, religion, or a "I just want to" thing?

Regardless, your words and thoughts are admirable, and one can only imagine the honour a gentleman would have to court such an intelligent young lady :)

Darla Gaylor

Good job, Monica!

If what you experienced was the norm, I could better support Sex Ed. What I do not support is coerced sex ed with no opt out for parents (or kids) who would prefer to discuss these issues in their own time and manner. Nor do I support Sex Ed in school starting with the youngest among us before they are ready to hear about such intimate matters. The absolute and utter garbage that some "educators" deem appropriate for young children makes me wonder why they are even working with children in the first place (or allowed) and what "greater good" they feel it fulfills to introduce what can easily become explicit material to children before they even care/ need/ want to know. Is it not possible to leave some small amount of childish innocence in tact while the kids are still learning their blasted alphabet?? http://articles.cnn.com/2010-07-15/us/montana.sex.education_1_school-board-meeting-sexual-orientation-teaching-students?_s=PM:US

Nevertheless, Sex Ed (vs. parental discussions of sex) should be as boring as vanilla ice cream, I find it completely beyond the scope of anything right or reasonable for schools to make sure kids know the ins & outs of all forms of sexual intercourse, including positions, options & even gay sex styles. Can they not have something to figure out on their own? And if 3-5% of the population identifies as gay/lesbian, why does the other 95-97% of the population need to understand how gay sex works?

More needs to be left to the family and their personal values, not seized by a value-less system to inculcate students with its own sense of morality, or the general lack thereof. But then again, my faith in the benefit of a coercive American school system, that fails on so many levels, yet never fails to stop intruding on home and family, is such that I began homeschooling one daughter last year...and no, it wasn't for religious reasons. It was just the absolute belief that I can do a better job truly educating my own child than the monolithic-one-size-fits-all tax-payer fed behemoth we call public "school." I'm still working on my other daughter. She's a strong-willed little separatist, just like her mother :)

Monica F

Robin,

I guess I'd say that it was a personal choice. It was certainly influenced by my parents and my religion, but ultimately I chose based on my own conviction that waiting for marriage was the best decision I could make in order to be true to who I am and who I'm meant to be. It hasn't been an easy choice--especially since it's not a choice made by many of my friends--and I doubt I would have stayed with it if I was only following a religious rule that seemed arbitrary to me. I needed a deeper understanding of God's purpose in designing sex for marriage before I could fully commit to my decision. Hopefully that makes sense.

Shanna

This is pretty similar to how my high-school and seventh grade health classes handled sex ed. The high school class was more in depth then the seventh grade class.

And Darla, from what I've noticed amongst peers when I was in public school, by the time parents feel they should talk to their kids about sex, their kid has either had sex, or have been talking to other kids about sex for years. Now, teaching kindergartners the ins and outs of intercourse or gonorrhea isn't necessary, but the early kids know factual information, the less time erroneous information has to take hold. If you ever want to know just how erroneous, go look at texts from last night sometime.

As for gay orientations and sex being covered, well, they still need to practice safe sex even if pregnancy is off the table. Also keep in mind most gay-identified people (especially lesbians) still have sex with the opposite gender before coming out, so it's nice for them to have a more clinical view of what it is, and to have back up that it's okay and nothing is wrong with them for being gay. It's also good to remind the straight kids that being gay is not an insult, and they should stop using orientation to harass others. And of course, erroneous information. Don't mention anything about gay sex and suddenly you have kids taking urban dictionary as the word-of-god-on-sex, believing it and goodness, even trying some of the acts on there (some of which by the way are not possible.)

A. Lau

I graduated from high school in 1982 and perhaps my school district was ahead of the curve, but that sorta describes my experience. We had a semester of health education which was taught by the biology teacher. He was just your average middle-aged white guy and he mostly left morals out of it but there was a day when he asked us to write down the definition of sex. Most of us had some difficulty with it, so after we did some thinking and discussing, he told us that it wasn't an act, or even your gender, but a part of who you are. The message was a little lost on me at the time, but I think the idea was that before you go trying to express yourself sexually, you should be grown up enough to know who you are. Not bad for public schools in the dark ages, eh?

V V

I am a baby-boomer, which means that I attended high school during the 60's and early 70's, a time when all moral values began to collapse.

By the time they got to teaching sex ed, most of us knew "the facts of life" already. But fortunately, there was one female Gym and Health Ed teacher who wasn't afraid to be just a bit controversial. She understood that sex education needed to be more than the "insert Tab A into Slot B" instruction manual. She discussed the social and emotional issues involved in being sexually active, not only with the girls in her classes, but also insisted that some of the films on the matter be shown in the boys' Health Ed classes. In those days it made a few waves.

My male classmates and I all thought at the time that the films were laughable, but a few years later, when I was in college, the information gotten had a salutary influence on certain decisions I made.

Mindy Schaper

Thanks for the insight.

Nicholas Wise

Sexual education is not the business of the schools, but of the parents and the kids, the problem is parents wont do it, so it falls to the schools. And wake up people, teenagers have sex, the best thing to do is arm them with all of the right knowledge and teach them good decision making skills.

Cindy

The problem with birth control is that its worsening the health of women on a large scale, causing environmental degradation (hormones are infecting water supply for humans and animals alike and turning male fish into male/female fish) and leading to more incidents of infertility but most don't want to hear such things and brush it aside (I've heard of women not being able to bear children anymore after prolonged use of contraception and in desperation run to IVF only to find out that it failed them as well).

Shanna

"I've heard of women not being able to bear children anymore after prolonged use of contraception and in desperation run to IVF only to find out that it failed them as well"

Cindy, do you actually have verified evidence of that, or just heard it from your cousins-best friends-hair-dressers-2nd-grade-teacher.

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