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February 14, 2011

Comments

Emily

You're right! he's really married. I can't believe it.

Ick.

http://thewellversed.com/2011/01/19/sex-week-noel-biderman-the-king-of-infidelity/

dangermom

So, wait, the solution for women living in poverty and unhappy with their cheating husbands is to do some cheating themselves? Yes, I'm sure that is the solution that most of them would go for, given the choice, and it will certainly solve their difficulties.

Melissa May

I admit, I'm really curious about his wife's take on this business venture. I find it a bit strange that he's a married man with kids, but of course I don't know the details of his private life. Perhaps it's an open marriage?

robert

In a google search, I found this:

Would you be okay with your wife using your service?
No. If my wife were using my service, or any dating service, or if I even found her on Facebook chatting with former boyfriends and not telling me about it, I would be emotionally hurt beyond belief, and would feel that our relationship had severe problems. To me, a healthy relationship is one where there is communication and honesty and emotional and physical connectivity. I would hope that that is what is going on in my current relationship, and if not, I'd have to look at myself, and my responsibilities. But if my wife were engaging in such a service, then clearly our relationship would be in trouble.

Melissa May

Robert, that's what Mr. Biderman had to say about his wife using his own service? Seriously?

I suppose this falls under the rule of "Do as I say and not as I do"? He's happy to provide others an outlet to "emotionally hurt" their significant others, rather than encourage them to "take a look at" themselves and their "responsibilities". But under no circumstances should his wife take his advice to others and apply it to herself should she become disenchanted with their relationship.

Pardon me, Mr.Biderman, but your hypocrisy is showing.

Lisa Nash

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I just don't see the point of being married if you're not going to be married. If you are to the point that you need to pay for a service to help you cheat on your spouse, then what are you even doing? What is the "five year plan"?

luci

Yeah Let's just helps AIDS and HIV spread even faster.

Cheryn

I just wonder how Mrs Biderman feels about all this. I can't imagine, even if she's smiling on the outside, that she's really all that stoked about it.

Cheryn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8ttYkoW2I0

Just found this video. Yeah, she looks so full of life and joy... not.

Robin Goodfellow

Watched a tiny bit of the youtube clip.

How can a woman like her stick by that loser?

She should divorce him, take the kids (and his money-one of the few times I'll defend the divorce system blatantly favouring women), and put the guy in his place.

No woman should marry a man who sells "social poison".

Dude basically justifies his business by accommodating relationship cowardice.

/thumbs down

Boyd

She basically answered why. It's about the money.

Funny how he asserts that he is now an expert on marriage and relationships because he speaks a lot about the virtues of adultery. Any bets on how long his marriage lasts?

Wendy

His wife says that one benefit of the website is that it "legitimizes it"--"it" being infidelity. How is that a benefit, exactly? I don't think she comes across as someone who thinks these things through, but rather seems to take the attitude of: "it's his business so I have to be 'cool' with it."

Also, if someone has written a book entitled "Cheaters Prosper" and thinks that lying and cheating is "a catalyst for change," how can you trust them when they maintain that they personally don't cheat? Maybe he also regards his own infidelity as a source of prosperity and and "a catalyst for change," but the nature of that change is that you have to lie, so he lies too.

I mean if it's true for others, why isn't it true for him?

In the department of amusement, take a look at one of their commercials:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pud3Mn2XCU

What do you think? Doesn't make it sound terribly appealing in my view.

Lisa Nash

Wow.

I love that he claims that the site is there as a catalyst for change. This guy is super-deluding himself. I can't wait until his wife signs on to do a little research about her husband's work.

I think this is an example of being so open-minded that all your brains fall out.

Katie Van Dyke

That was one of the worst commercials I've ever seen. There are several funeral home commercials that have more feeling and emotion to them.

The numbers prove that while Mr. Biderman's site is deplorably enabling infidelity it IS popular (and we know its not because of the stellar marketing). Mr. Biderman is an entrepreneur. He saw an opportunity in the market and he has built a successful business to meet this consumer demand. He makes his money on infidelity, but he is not alone in making money in unscrupulous ways.
I watched several of his interviews sequentially. He starts out with "these people were searching on singles' dating sites and often hurting unassuming singles because they were lying about who they really are." He looks at the site through extremely warped, altruistic rose colored glasses. He seems to be genuinely upset at the real life consequences of the actual infidelity. But then as time goes on he stops defending the site and begins defending the actual act of infidelity, saying that it can create the outlet that will allow individuals to stay married. I think what is really happening with Mr. Biderman is that he created a very lucrative monster that daily eats at his soul, but becoming the patron saint of infidelity is so much a part of his identity that he can't walk away from it now. I feel for the man because who can be proud of a fortune made off the misery of others.
I did agree with one of his views. When asked how he would feel if his wife was cheating on him he said, "I would be devastated, of course. I wouldn't blame a website. I wouldn't blame an inanimate object. I would take a look in the mirror and be accountable to myself." Now this is good advice. I've observed that many people become the person that would have saved their marriage in order to cheat on it.
It won't make a lot of money, but my take is, "If the grass looks greener on the other side, it just means you need to tend your law better."

Glirwest

Oi! I'm a girl down-under. Seriously, we're a first world country – albeit one that's home to anything and just about everything that tries to kill you. As a general rule, we don't live in abject poverty without sanitation.

But I do honestly admit that it's a stupid idea. The Ashley Madison thing.

Marta

not to play Devil's advocate, it's the users and not Mr. Biderman who are to blame for the popularity of that site. We're all grownups and responsible for our actions: if someone registers and looks for a fling over there, they're fully responsible for it.

I also understand that he's just a businessman selling his product, a product which he wouldn't buy. I infer from his words that he's just as traditional as we are regarding his own marriage and he wouldn't advise any friend or relative to use his site either, but leaves it up to the individual to choose whether or not to respect his/her vows.

I'm okay with that. I'm free to choose, and I choose my family: because I want and because I must.

Boyd

Marta, not to be argumentative, but couldn't the same be said of Larry Flint, Hugh Hefner and all the other porn peddlers out there? There's a demand for what they peddle... it's not their fault... right?

Sadly enough, the adultery will happen regardless of whether the site gets used. However, I believe that to encourage, espouse, and make a buck on that kind of activity is almost as low a way to make a buck as it gets. Biderman and his ilk are slime, plain and simple.

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