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November 26, 2010

Comments

Cora Lee B.

Hi, I am 16 and I am just like you, or when you where my age... I don't know how, or when I started to dress like a boy, I guess it is my way of being a rebel. When I was younger my parents had me dress modestly, so I really don't feel comfortable going out of my room without being modest.. it's who I am... Also I would rather be a wall flower than a girl who is on show... and boy clothes are like an invisible shield. And it is nice to know that all of my friends love me for me and not because I am "in fashion". Even when I dress like a girl it's not how most girls would dress, I tell people "As long as I am not normal, I am okay"
Thanks for this lovely blog :) I am not alone in my modesty

Koni

This is a great post and I understand completely (perhaps a little more than i would like to).

I read a quote in a book (i forget which) that said "If it aint on the menu keep it covered up" ... it always make me smile. This post is like the adult version of that idea.

YK

I'm sorry, but I've read the quote several times and I find it absurd.

If women wish to be loved "without why or wherefore," that is, without any characteristics that merit love or, in their absence, forfeit it, I suppose that's an understandable defensive approach to criticism, but I don't understand why women should be regarded as different in this respect from men. People may not want to be loved for their goodness, but they love those who are good, showing that in their opinion--when not connected with amour-propre--virtue (in the original not just the cramped 19th-century sexual sense) is worthy of being loved. I think a woman who wishes to cultivate the virtues and admires them in others is more worthy of being loved. Maybe that's just me, but I suspect not.

As to "modesty," it has a much deeper and more important meaning than not-showing-skin. Unlike prettiness (and like beauty in its deeper sense), modesty cannot be skin-deep; it comes from the character within. Having a sense of the virtues also implies a healthy sense of one's own distance from them, and that ought to be a great aid toward modesty in the larger and fuller sense, not just the covering-up kind. That kind of modesty is much more attractive, and the clothing kind of modesty is only a narrow aspect of true modesty.

Hannah vH

Replying to YK who posted above, I think that it is unique to women in *how* important it is to us that we be loved unconditionally; in contrast (in the majority of cases), men would rather be respected unconditionally. Unfortunately, both sides seem to think that love (for women) and respect (for men) needs to be earned.

And I see your point in saying that, "a woman who wishes to cultivate the virtues and admires them in others is more worthy of being loved", but in reality, are any of us worthy of being loved?

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