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November 11, 2010

Comments

Wendy

I think the number one thing that needs to be done to curb this trend is to teach children the difference between public and private--granted, a difficult task in an era when many adults do not value privacy either. My heart goes out to the poor girl in the story, who was never taught that a boy who is cruel to you has not earned your trust, and certainly does not deserve to get a naked picture of you. The fact that such a thing could even happen in the first place is beyond low-self-esteem issues; it reveals a fundamental confusion. These boorish boys need to be given severe consequences, but at the same time, young people need to be taught to value privacy. Today we are taught that if we keep something private, we must be ashamed of it--that's the legacy of the 1960s; Show your body if you are proud of it! But showing and telling everyone everything also destroys the possibility of real intimacy, trust and connection.

Whatpuritylookslike.wordpress.com

All readers who feel that the topic canvassed in the last post "Schoolgirls Interrupted" is directly linked to this post, raise your cyber hand.

\!!!/

Nurit Weizman

The article wrote, "It's the phenomenon of no place to run and no place to hide". There really is no concept of privacy anymore and it's becoming quite scary, making stalking more and more of a norm. I am definitely supportive of cutting down on devices that belittle privacy and make it "uncool". For example, organizing with other parents to keep teens from having the texting option and much stricter restrictions on internet.

Koni

and i think it plays into a generation gap thing as well....some adults might think that because teenagers are more adept at technology that its best left to the teenagers. BUT teens need guidance in their lives.

I am so on board with restoring privacy. Like over the past years minds have warped into believing that people are being "real" by letting everybody know everything. Thats not true. Its almost like another manifestation of being insecure.

ok im rambling.

Angel Firestone

It's a hard lesson for Allyson Pereira. I hope she will overcome the humiliation and be able to continue living her life in diginity.

One of the problems we have today is that the minds of girls like Allyson have been lost through public education and the entertainment culture. Instead of mom and dad being the parents, we have pop singers like Katy Perry becoming a surrogate parent. I question the appropriateness based on the lyrics of her music.

Modesty can't be taught to those who are not modest themselves.

Cady Driver

I think that this problem is being approached from the wrong angle.

"There are campaigns against cyber bullying abuse. MTV's "A Thin Line" is one that comes to mind as well as CNN's "Stop Bullying Speak Up" and Liz Claiborne's " Love is Respect" that hopefully will encourage people to seek out help and teach others that digital abuse is real."

Producing these shows to educate people on bullying might help a little bit, the problem goes FAR deeper and the root of it is the family, the family, the family. Children cannot learn empathy, self-respect, compassion, and love for others unless they have been taught it by their parents and unfortunately, children are not WITH their parents anymore. Peers have too much of an influence on children and there is no constant adult in their lives for them to bond with and learn from.

Think "Lord Of The Flies"....

When the family is broken, as it is in our society, then you will see the social breakdown that we are now witnessing. We now rely too much on "experts" to solve the problems that crop up in our children when it is OUR responsibility as parents to teach them these invaluable lessons. Unfortunately, parents are too busy pursuing the American Dream to notice that our kids are unknowingly creating havoc in their own lives and the lives of others.

Nurit Weizman

pshhh nice point, Cady.

Shanna

The real problem with abuse is that the abused don't realize the situation they're in usually until it's too late or otherwise severely escalated. While there tends to be a "cycle of abuse", plenty of people with loving supporting families and friends end up in abusive situations. The abuser manipulates the situation so that they are the victim, and the abused's loved ones and family are against them. Worse, you can't just remove the abused from the abuser. They have to leave of their own free will. Overall it's an extremely complex problem with lots of nuances that can not be broken down easily.

The bullying she faced from her peers is more indicative of the slut/stud double standard. Would a teenage boy be ridiculed as much for a naked picture? My recollection of high school says no. Unless of course he looked undersized. (Off topic, but I HATE when exes do that. It's the most petty reaction a person could have.)

Rebecca D.

This is a totally different kind of modern abuse. Maybe not right for this column, but I don't know where to put it. What do you think about the surprise new move by the TSA that in order to fly you either have to be electronically stripped (and contrary to the earliest guarantees, some of those pictures have already been posted on the web) or physically assaulted by a TSA employee, or both if the electronic stripping doesn't reveal enough, or if they think it is time to make an example of someone.

Unfortunately, there is a big business behind the scanning machines. Some big business made them, so now it is up to us to use them.

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