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April 26, 2010

Comments

Patricia

I think the reason why the media makes fun of virgins is because they are dangerous. Virgins represent a counterculture which rejects the media's standards of happiness, their relationship "script" and if enough of them speak out, soon enough everyone will realize the superiority of this choice on the physical, emotional and social level.

In the meantime, how do you try keep rebellious, intelligent and even (gasp!) good-looking virgins quiet? Especially if you don't have sound arguments against their life choice? Intimidation.

I know what you are going through, and I hope realizing this helps. Hang in there! Please remember the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Sarah M

It's funny, I somewhat took it the opposite way. I also watch the show, and thought that even though she was a virgin, she stood up for what she believed in.
I know many, many people who liked her character a LOT before, and, when having this discussion, MORE who liked her after that episode.
I thought it was good that, too, on the next episode (the Like a Virgin song made me blush, and I've been married for 5 years, haha!) she decides not to be intimate again, even though she was trying to "take charge of her body". Again, her crush (Will something-or-other) respects her even more for ACTUALLY 'taking charge of her body' by saying "no".
I'm just hoping they don't screw it up and make the two have sex for shock value. It'd sure be nice to see a couple get married on tv before they are intimate. ...Ya know... like... for ONCE on TV!

Monica

That was one of several things that bothered me about the Madonna episode of Glee. My 13-year-old sister watches the show too, and I can't help but wonder what she's taking away from it.

The message I got from the show was that no matter how much a guy likes you, he will not (no--he CANNOT) date you if sex is not involved. Both Will and Jesse accepted that Emma and Rachel wanted to hold onto their virginity for the moment, but in both cases it was implied that a condition of their acceptance was that someday--preferably someday soon--both of the women would "be ready."

I was glad that the writers provided some balance in the end. Through most of the show, it looks like Emma, Rachel, and Finn are all about to lose their virginity. Finn, the only one who goes through with it, seems to regret it afterward, since he "didn't feel anything because it didn't mean anything." It's not much, but it's a start--and could be a good way to open up communication between girls and their moms.

Shanna

I do not watch Glee, but the wikipedia synopsis says she suffers from mysophobia, which would understandably make any kind of physical contact difficult. I do agree that there needs to be more positive virgins in the media. (Heck, my most successful relationship was with a 26 year old virgin, he was a virgin when our relationship ended, and I'd still go back to him if the opportunity presented itself) I think it's important to encourage people (especially teenagers) to think deeply about what's best for them as a person. For some it is physical intimacy, and for others it's abstinence. And there is nothing wrong with either choice, as long as you're being safe and responsible about it. (Religion aside, but thats no reason to treat someone as inferior.)

AnonyMouse

A person who chooses to be a virgin isn't hurting anyone else, so why all the anger?

The reaction you see to virginity in the mainstream culture should tell you that it's not really about virginity - there is a deeper issue.

Alice

Yes, why must so many good things be seen as problems? It's not just virginity. If you don't drink, you're a "wowser". It's the same if one dresses modestly. People and the media seem to think that these things are a result of being timid, conservative, weak, socially inept, immature, crazy as you say, frightened of "breaking the rules" (which is a contradiction because it seems often it's us who are the ones doing that these days!!!) or scarred after years of ill treatment at the hand of restrictive and cruel parents.
Oh, it's so unfair! Other types of "counterculture" get praised and admired, or at least respected. *This* type is thought of being as an existing culture that must be explained away and not treated as something actually worth considering.
I think I could talk about this for hours too. But I must stop now.

Pink_HIjabi

Oh! I second the above comment! Beautifully written Patricia :)

Koni

Wow you guys Thanks. Like i said this was a mixed post with half gut reaction half thoughts so i wasn't expecting all this. You are all so thoughtful.

Sarah M - I liked the follow episode as well, to me it felt like the show isn't going to go where you expect it to. like on other tv shows.

Jessica Denise

She said she hasn't found anyone special enough, also. It's funny the things we remember when we're watching something. In last week's episode, we saw two people choose to not lose their virginity because they weren't ready. We also saw one person go through with it and lose his virginity - he said he didn't like it and didn't feel anything because it didn't mean anything. GLEE has one of the most positive demonstrations of virginity that I've seen in a long time, I think. It has mocked it (via Celibacy Club) and shown teens that it's okay (Madonna episode).

E

I think it's great that Glee is showing many opinions of virginity. I thought it was great when the female teacher was honest and then when the male teacher, in response, was understanding and caring. I am not abstinent, but I do appreciate examples in the media of caring, understanding people in relationships. I wouldn't be mad if on the show they had sex before they got married, but so far I like the respect and patience both partners exhibit!

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