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April 05, 2009


Gretchen Fagan

It is funny how some women automatically interpret this gesture as oppressive, as though men do this because they think we are too frail to do it ourselves. I think it is a sign of respect and honor. Just as we stand when an judge enters a courtroom or those in the military salute a superior, opening the door for a woman is a way of recognizing her value and showing that recognition in a simple yet practical way. I appreciate every time my husband or any male opens the door for me and am sure to say thank you with a smile.


Ugh. I HATE it when men hold the door for women because "he's a guy and she's a girl and that's a door". I do find it oppressive when you're walking together and the guy runs ahead to grab the door. That said. If there's a man (OR woman) walking IN FRONT of me who opens or holds the door for me, I look at that as a gesture of kindness and courtesy. And I do the same for people walking behind me. It's not a gender thing, it's a human thing. When it becomes a gender thing, that's when it upsets me.


Yeah, never reject free service! :D

My dad drove me to my apartment last night (I spend the weekend with my parents and the week in an apartment near my school) and when he got out of the car to help me with my stuff, we got it all up to the door and then he DIDN'T open the door for me. I wanted to be like, "Hey, I have stuff in each hand! Open the door!"

(I think he was just tired and not thinking about it.)

Cara Lombardo

I find it incredible how the same women who would object to a man holding the door for them would give the appropriate response of, "Thank you" to a woman who did the same thing. I agree with the above comment that defines common courtesy like this as a "human thing."

That being said, I also appreciate the chivalry behind a man opening a door for a woman. I asked a male friend of mine once why he made it a point to do so once, and his response was, "You have to give birth; the least I can do is open a door." When you put it that way...YES!


My dad never opened a door for me nor has he ever bothered to give me a glimpse of what it means to be a daddy's little girl growing up. (Quite frankly, I had no idea if such thing like a daddy's girl exists in the planet). It's only after I met a man who treats me like a real princess I began to realize what it means to be treated like a princess. I used to resist guys opening a door for me by arguing over equal rights and that I am an independent girl. In retrospect, I liked them opening a door for me, but I just didn't know how to respond. I mean.. I never knew how to be a girl. I just felt awkward. But, that's all there's to it.


I am lucky to work at a wonderful private school where the boys are especially well-mannered. When they see a teacher (female, or male with hands full), they will put down their own books and rush to open the door. They always get a cheerful "Thank you" from me! Just shows that some (many, I hope) parents are still teaching manners and impressing on their kids the importance of being considerate to others.


I love it when guys go out of their way to open the door for me! I don't find it oppressive at all. I find it very respectful.

My fiance opens the door for me all the time. He's the gentleman and he treats me like a princess. It feels good to be treated well.


I love it when guys will hold open a door for me. My boyfriend will leap a step ahead to open a door, because it shows that he respects me, and I find it extremely kind. However, If I open a door to go in, and there is someone behind me, I will hold it. If I'm shopping with my grandmother, I will open doors for her. It's respect to other people as humans, and I for one am all for it.


I happen to love it when a guy opens doors for me, but even if you don't like the idea of chivalry, it is still rude to not say thank you, just like you would with a gift you don't like. One of my guy friends held a door open for a girl because he was ahead of her, and not only did she not thank him, but she informed him that she had a boyfriend and she would go get him if Chris didn't stop hitting on her. It just makes girls look self absorbed and ungrateful when we do this.


I always feel respected whenever someone opens the door for me, and feel respect for whoever does it, but this should apply to everyone - both men and women. It's a simple matter of civility, that's all. I open the door for men, seniors, and other women, and that's just the way it should be. After all, 'respect is the currency of the world'!


You're absolutely right! Thanks for reminding us women of how important it is to let men fulfill their role.
God bless!
Kristin, AKA The Faithful Fashionista


I love this! My dad is a gentleman, and his father once "reprimanded" me (gently!) for opening my own car door when I was out with him. My dad also always opens car doors for the ladies.

I have two brothers, ages 3 and 2. The older loves to open doors for us, whenever he remembers. Sometimes he can only get heavy doors open a little bit. I squeeze out the best I can and thank him profusely! :)

Novan Leon

I, being a guy, always try to open doors for the ladies. That said, I've always wondered what the correct etiquette is when confronted with a inward-swinging door. It's difficult and awkward to open this kind of door for a lady. I usually take the approach of entering through the door ahead of the lady and holding it open for her, but at the same time that requires me to enter through the door first. This may sound like a silly dilemma to ponder but I do think about this sometimes.


I agree with those who have commented that opening the door for someone isn't a GENDER thing, really, it's a human thing! I am female and it makes me feel good to hold open doors for both men and women, and it's nice when people do the same for me, regardless of their gender. Rather than implying some recognition of gender differences, I feel that this gesture is, ideally, a sign of caring for other people and putting them first...which is nice!


Why is it that we are praising men for holding a door open for us ladies?? Isn't that just considered being polite? I think it is INCREDIBLY sexist and mysogynistic to say that you feel "special" when a man "risking life and limb by this action." Chivalry is really just a set of actions our society thinks men should perform for women because we mere women are too weak to do them ourselves. Yes, I do say thank you to men AND women when they hold the door for me. I appreciate it, but I never EVER think that I deserve it because I have two X chromosomes. Your site talks about strength in a woman's personal choices (ie: her sexual practices) but this post talks about that same woman's weakness.

Sean Ollech

The analogy with the judge entering the room is apt. Ladies, watch if the men get up when you enter the room. ;)

Some of us had grandparents with their own expectations who taught us how to behave. It's all about simple respect. I honestly belief most women just don't know how to act like one because they were never taught.


I consider it common courtesy regardless of gender. I am female and I'll hold the door open for anyone who needs it, and for whomever is behind me, or entering. I've gone on a few dates with a guy who would open the car door for me only once a night. I found it cute and sweet that he joked about it like that. It depends on how its done. I shouldn't have door hold open for me because I'm female, if a door is held open, it should be because I'm human.


I don't have an "political problems" against a man holding a door for a woman. But when a guy opens a door for me, I feel embarrassed yet flattered. It is kind of awkward I guess, like I "owe" them a favor.

Carolyn Stevens

I love it when guys open the door for me and I think it is especially important to say thank you because it is a kind gesture and it is just polite. It always amazes me when girls do not say thank you. I remember one day in high school when a boy opened the door for me. I said thank you and no one else did. From that time on he would open the door for me everyday and everyday I said thank you. Pretty soon he would look for me when he opened the door and would wait no matter how far away I was. I continued to say thank you, but no one else did. Since then, I say thank you to everyone who opens the door for me--both men and women--to let them know how much I appreciate the courtesy.

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