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September 12, 2008

Comments

Luthor Rex

However sex is perceived in 30 years I hope it is in a more sane and realistic manner than it is now. It is unfortunate, but the public debate about human sexuality is far too politicized, and talk about it tends to just be people stating their ideological positions.

I also find it disheartening that there is too much in the way of monolithic assumptions about what everyone wants, or about what is 'right'. It is too often assumed that all males have the same outlook on sex as a 14 year old thug-boy. It is also too often assumed that women are the cowering victims of male sexuality. Men who have no desire to 'sleep around' have no voice, and women who use sex as a weapon are unrecognized.

People's egos and ideologies are so tied to human sexuality that attempts at a rational debate are almost impossible.

The only way for things to change for the better is for ego and ideologies to be put aside and instead for people to take a frighteningly honest look at what human sexuality really is. Research in biology and psychology shows us a view of human sexuality that is perceived as dangerous to feminists and other with political power and an axe to grind. Too bad for them.

I *hope* that human sexuality is viewed within the light of what we know is true about the world and not what people wish would be true about the world. But I won't hold my breath.

ChristineM

Interesting article. It's hard to say what will happen in the future but I can't see sex being as explicit as it is nowadays.

Just looking at a lot of the younger generations idols they have a totally different demeanor and outlooks on sex. Almost 10 years ago we had Britany Spears and XTina dancing on polls with low-cut pants and bras.
Now we have people like Miley Cyrus, Jordan Sparks and The Jonas Brothers, dressed modestly, acting politely and preaching abstinence.
There is still a lot of crude role models out there but they haven't gained the momentum that they would have had hey been in the spotlight a decade ago or prior to that. Someone like Madonna wouldn't even get a record contract in 2008.
And it's just not pop-culture but clothing and attitude. Modesty is now considered fashionable.

So I could see the younger generation rebelling against their more vulgar elders but only time will tell

Anne

While it’s always difficult to predict the future, what with unknown technological and economic developments (which do affect sex), I think there will be a more conservative attitude toward sexuality for both men and women. I think Ms. Shalit is correct in her assessment of young women turning toward a more modest life style. And I think that applies to boys too. Sex is an emotional experience for both partners, and I think the lack of real intimacy is bringing everyone down. It’s just sad that so many have to learn this the hard way (myself included).

And one thing that really makes me angry about current views on sexuality, is this notion that teenagers are sexual creatures and thus will do what they do, and no matter what we as parents or adult counselors tell them, they will still shack up like animals. As if being sexual is the same as being promiscuous. We are in desperate need of a new definition of sexuality and sexiness, a definition worthy of humans.

Julia

I find Wendy Shalit's view completely uplifting and flat wonderful. Thank you Wendy for understanding a truth about the beauty of modesty and how that modesty would complete men and encourage and challenge men to think differently about love and life. Today's men are lonely running to strip clubs, with so little to live up to. They are like lost little puppies in their hearts even if they are having sex -- it is empty. Men and women are very much struggling with feeling alone and lost. Time for a revolution! Women have always been men's greatest influence -- let us embrace our need to be loved in a relationship -- instead of just having sex. Let us help men become men, by being better women and embracing modesty --holding on to our romanic ideals no matter what! That's just doing the right thing.

Centrist

Anne and Julia, those were the best comments I have read on this site. You two understand that men and women should be companions, not competitors. I am happy that women like you still exist in the West.

Luthor Rex

"Today's men are lonely running to strip clubs, with so little to live up to. They are like lost little puppies in their hearts even if they are having sex -- it is empty"

Considering that the modern woman acts like an outragous slut, it's really not fair to point your finger only at men.

It takes a certain set of personal values to be the kind of person who would create a family. If you want to complain that modern men don't value marriage then please remember that you women brought this on your selves. Marriage was originally created to guarentee that a man had a child that was (biologically) his own. Since this is not longer the case, why should men want to marry?

Amy

I don't think it's quite that simple, Luthor, how can women today be responsible for what previous women and men did? I feel like you are using societal breakdown as an excuse to use words like "slut" and express your own bitterness against women, which is not cool.

Emmanuel Williams

I've written a book about the spiritual aspects of sex. It's called "LOVING: truths about sex no one told you." I was a 'serial monogamist' in my teens and twenties. Later I went through a long period of reflection and purification and concluded that sex is never casual, however casually it is treated. When we have sex we open ourselves to the forces alive and dominant in our partner, and these forces enter us and find a place in our beings. So if we sleep around we are inwardly encumbered by the energies or forces of others, and lose touch with our inner self, our source of guidance.
People from all over the world sent me stories illustrating this truth. My favorite is from a man who told me that he was making love with his wife and suddenly realized they were miles above the surface of the earth."Just like those Marc Chagall paintings," he said.
My book's available on Amazon.
He said off-handedly.

Humility, is the key, Amy and Luthor.

As with the rest of you in that I do forsee that sexual explicitness is on the recession. At some point, it will bounce back when modesty becomes to restrictives as it once was; however, we're not there yet, so its return is a good thing.

The point is that it IS up to BOTH of the sexes and BOTH sexes are allowed to be upset at each other. Luthor is allowed to feel resentment, just as women are. We've BOTH done harm to each other, and BOTH sexes need to acknowledge this before progress is made.

I am a little sad, though. I feel a bit betrayed by my own generation (right between gen x and y). It seems that the modesty movement will be there to support those younger than me and not myself. It would mean everything to me to meet and eventually marry a beautiful and intelligent chaste woman (particularly who isn't necessarily religious), but it seems that this prospect is moreso available to a younger generation, which will have the support required to produced such wonderful creatures.

Deara Okonkwo

I agree with the previous commenter, particularly because we like to find the easy way out and that is pointing the blame on someone other than ourselves. I am not saying that the correct way is the blame oneself either. Instead, I understand that issues are resolved when people work together, understand & admit their faults and WANT to improve their character.

I believe it starts with people like Taylor Moore. She doesn't walk around preaching to and condemning young folks. From what I have read and viewed, it appears that she strives to guide her generation. She is modest, humble and a determined young lady embodying a beautiful role-model and leader for her community. Moreover, owing to the abundant support that she receives from family and friends such as Wendy Shalit her message reaches out to more youth like myself.

I am an 18 year old graduate student at the University of Southern California. I am also the founder and CEO of DeDe Dance Studio, a burgeoning non-profit in South, Los Angeles. In my programs, we advocate abstinence but not through lecture. Instead, we give youth an outlet to be kids and enjoy their childhood through programs such as dance, etiquette and leadership clubs and debutante balls. In this way, we model for them why abstinence is essential in living a healthy life, especially as a child. Moreover, they learn that being a kid is enjoyable and having morals makes them feel royal.

I must note that I love listening to children, especially when they teach me a lesson about life that I probably thought otherwise about.

To end, humility is the key, indeed.
Learn more about me.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC4DnVebzy4

My work in the community..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAhT587F0Ys

Peace & Blessings. Happy New Year!
:Deara

DeCaelis

I believe sex will be viewed differently in the years to come. For instance, due to its over saturation, I sensethe porn industry is beginning to become tired and overworked. For many the illicit thrill has begun to wear off. Out of this hopefully a new appreciation for restraint and the beauty of love will begin to reemerge. I think in a few years we will start to see a much broader appreciation for what everything on this blog advocates and represents. The key is not to go to extremes in either direction. As a man I can assure you of the attractiveness that a little restraint brings to women, that a little mystery is a thousand times more powerful than letting everything be out in the open, at least right away. Trust me, a well dressed, classy and elegant woman is far more attractive than anything our porn driven culture promotes as beauty today. And hopefully people in the future will once again begin to place a higher value on the relationship between sex and love and the spiritual connection between the two.

Lisa

Honestly? I think that in the next decade or so, the more radical free-love don't-be-so-inhibited crowd will rediscover chastity, but they won't call it that. They'll come up with a new, fresh-sounding term for it, like "soul cleanse." Celebrity couples will split up because one of them suddenly declared their own 90-day soul cleanse. The latest actress will give an interview about how "I don't know... in *tune*" she felt with her life and with a higher power when she embarked on her cleanse. A line of jewelry will be marketed -- bracelets, like the LiveStrong bands today -- so that people can display the fact that they are on a "soul cleanse." Novels will be written. Movies will be made. People will start praying, but they won't call it prayer. They will start loving, but they won't know what to call it.

Right now, living modestly (cheaply, without ostentatious display of wealth) is beginning to enjoy a resurgence of popularity. Perhaps with a little more time for pop culture to think and reflect, other virtues will come back in style as well.

salman

dear wendy
I praise you for your courage.your theology is wise, and logical.
salman-

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