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July 23, 2008



That is a great quote! Congrats to Jessica for being strong and wise.


Call me a cynic, but I don't read that quote as a statement for purity; rather, it tells me that she didn't always have "sex in the first few days." It doesn't say waiting to have sex before marriage netted her a quality spouse.
Instead, I see it as her saying that she waited it out through some louses, having sex with some along the way, until her husband came along.
Let's get real - she was quite publicly a single pregnant woman. She didn't marry the man she "held out" for until right before the birth of her daughter. This is not a model for purity, or modesty once in indiscretion has occurred, in my opinion. Peace. ~~~mary


Umm, she held out? Really? So getting pregnant before marriage is considered holding out these days as long as you don't sleep with the guy in the first few days?


maybe she doesn't fit our ideas of a "pure" role model, but she did recognize what was going on, and she did make decisions on her own terms. that's certainly a step up from being a doormat to men or sleeping around for fun. at least to me. personally i am a fan of single pregnant women. i don't necessarily agree with the road they took to get there, but i admire any woman who is single and courageous enough to go through with her pregnancy.

Heidi D.

I must say that I am a little disappointed with two of the previous comments. Although I do see your points, I must comment that all people sin in thought, word, and deed. Being that this is true, are there people who NEVER lusted in their heart after a man or a woman they were not married to? I understand that she was not married for the majority of her pregnancy, but with most of the "role models" that come out of Hollywood, her comment is a step in the right direction. Let us all remember (myself VERY included) that no man is without sin.

Matthew 7:1-5
1. "Do not judge lest you be judged. 2. "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3. "And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4. "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5. "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."


Heidi D., I suppose mine was one of the commments you were disappointed with. The only judgement in my comment is toward the idea of considering Jessica Alba's behavior to be "holding out" when clearly she did not hold out to have sex after marriage a fact that was made clear by her public pregnancy. As far as I'm concerned anyone can do whatever they want with whomever they choose. However, to put someone up as a champion of "modest" behavior when they were clearly un-married and pregnant is just plain silly.

Heidi D.

I do see why the term "holding out" really is misleading in her case, so I do give you that. However, I think that essentially her point was that young women shouldn't give themselves to someone who doesn't care about them or isn't committed to them, and that IS a good statement to make. Young women are always going to look up to celebrities so when they say something like this, it makes me thankful. To say making her a role model is "silly" to me, is a bit unfair. I also believe that people should wait for marriage to have sex, but all people sin and make mistakes, however, most sins can't be seen externally. Also, I thank Talia for her comment. Many Christians are very hard on unmarried women that become pregnant, not giving them any credit for not taking the "easy" way out and having an abortion.

Chris S

I don't think this is a necessarily a matter of "Judge not, that ye be not judged" I feel this is more about making wise decisions as to who you take advice from.

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly..." (Psalm 1:1)

Her own words and actions tell you that she is not one to give Godly counsel. Read what Jessica Alba had to say in the March '05 issue of Cosmo.

COSMO: "Do you think it’s important for girls to play the field a bit before settling down?"
JESSICA: "I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. I could have a one-night stand, and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, Do you really have to be here? I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more. I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with wanting sex. Never have. Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I’m done [with dating around]."

Again, I'm not suggesting that I'm without fault. And I'm not condemning Jessica. But I definitely wouldn't want my daughters patterning their lives after hers, no matter how successful she may become (by the world's standards).


Since my post seems to have stirred a bit of controversy here, I just wanted to clarify something: I never said or implied that every decision that Jessica Alba has ever made was praiseworthy. I never even called her a "role-model". All I did was note that she was advising girls to not sleep with guys that pressure them to have sex, but that they instead should wait for someone that loves them and wants more than just their bodies. Now obviously my opinion of holding out would be to hold out longer than she had, i.e. marriage, but with so much bad advice normally given out by celebrities, when I saw that she was encouraging girls to not be pressured by guys who accused them of being "frigid or lesbians" when they said no to sex, I wanted to make a point of it.


I understand that some of us may not like what Jessica Alba chooses to do in her own life, but it really doesn't change the fact that its good advice...

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