Counteracting the Hookup "Culture" at Colleges

Interesting article by BU religion professor Donna Freitas at the Wall Street Journal, on the culture of sexuality at many college campuses.  She's surveyed 2,500 college students and found that many students want romance and dating, but they're stuck in a 'hook-up' culture.  Freitas' blog is here, with links to some of her books on spirituality and sexuality.

"After conducting a national college survey of over 2,500 students, I found that among those who reported 'hooking up' -- a range of sexually intimate acts, from kissing to intercourse, that occur outside a committed relationship -- at Catholic and nonreligious private and public colleges and universities, 41% are profoundly upset about their behavior. The 22% of respondents who chose to describe a hook-up experience (the question was optional) used words like dirty, used, regretful, empty, miserable, disgusted, ashamed, duped and abused in their answers. An additional 23% expressed ambivalence about hooking up, and the remaining 36% were more or less 'fine' with it. And 45% of students at Catholic and 36% at nonreligious private and public schools say that their peers are too casual about sex. Not a single person at these schools said that their peers valued saving sex for marriage, and only 7% said that they felt that their friends wanted to reserve sex for committed, loving relationships."

"When last semester I taught Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty, in a class at Boston University called 'Spirituality & Sexuality in American Youth Culture', I assumed that my mostly left-leaning students would reject her arguments about the terrible effects that the hook-up culture has on young women and the positive effects of traditional religion and morality on young women's well-being. Instead, my students ate up her critique and were fascinated by her descriptions of modesty as a virtue, especially within the context of faith. One student said that she felt empowered to stop tolerating vulgar remarks about sex made by peers in her presence."

Freitas notes the disconnect between these students' ideals of romantic dating and their practice of casual sex.  Why the disconnect?  How to counteract that?

"The question remains, though, why students who feel bad about hooking up, who wish their peers would act less casual about sex and who dream of living with at least some restrictions on their sexual relationships then choose to act as they do. The answer lies in community. Most campuses do not provide an environment where acting on romantic desires, rather than sexual ones, is feasible. It takes a village to set standards for dating."

Hmm, I'm not crazy about the whole "it takes a village" to do anything, be it setting dating standards or raising children.  Who then, to raise the bar on dating, romance, interactions between men and women?

Clearly many colleges are eager to distribute condoms and safe sex advice, but unwilling to distribute anything that recommends abstaining from or delaying sex.  It's OK for them to espouse areligious, secular "values" (uncommitted sex, sexual experimentation) but it's not OK to espouse any religious values about sexuality, even those shared by virtually all of the world's religions. 

This means that student organizations such as The Anscombe Society and True Love Revolution are so vital to spreading their message to their peers.   I see them as being part of what Pope Benedict calls the "creative minority" who eschew the "strange consensus of modern existence," and who exemplify another, more positive way to live.    

Comments

[K.]

Isn't that sad? Our culture is so upside down sometimes--rebelling against the strict sexual nature brought on during the 1940s and 50s, people started celebrating the so-called sexual revolution. Nowadays said "revolution" involves STDs, unwanted pregnancies, broken relationships, self-esteem issues, and general discontent.

I love to see people (especially student organizations on campus) moving back towards ideas about sexuality that people may see as restrictive--namely abstinence. I'm 25, and a virgin--yes, sometimes I wonder if I'm making the "right" decision to wait (I don't know if I ever want to be married), but my female inner circle has experimented with sex (3 ladies in their 20s), and they've gotten nothing but broken hearts, STDs, abortions, and drama.

People think chastity is saying "no"--but I think it's saying yes. Saying yes to having the guts to go against the norm and not indulge every single sexual fantasy we may have--it's saying yes to self-respect, and dignity.

[AES]

K.,
I couldn't agree with you more. I am 22 and still waiting. I made that determination as a teenager, and even though it's not easy I know I will not regret it. I respect my friends choices though they are different from mine and I don't see them as lesser people. But I can't help but notice all the negative effects sexual experimentation has had on their lives. Disease, pregnancy scares, heartbreak and a truly diminished sense of self-worth are not rare these days, they are the norm. I am so grateful to those who are beginning to speak out against it. As a graduating college senior, I sometimes wish I had had more guts to speak out myself.

[Christian G.]

The phrase "it takes a village" used here appropriately connotes the fact that the standards of the prevailing culture will play an enormous role in influencing the behavior of children, teens and young adults. We can tell people about the benefits of abstinence as much as we'd like, but until the prevailing culture encourages abstinence and discourages promiscuous sexual practice, we will see little change in the rates of broken hearts and STIs.

[Katie Gillet]

I agree with Christian's comment. Anything from sexual standards to the traditional ways to celebrate Christmas can be set by the community at large, to the point that it seems strange to do anything differently.

[Ken]

Prof. Frietas' most recent book Sex and the Soul got a major shout-out today (Apr 29) from the editorial pages of The Wall Street Journal. Page A11 has a full-column book review down the entire page.

[Rofigo de la Mancha]

Anscombe Society is NOT sending vital information to young adults. It does not support gay, bisexual, or transgendered individuals.

True Love Revolution, as well as Anscombe Society, also have a heavy religious backing for their arguments. This is highly flawed since using a religion alienates those not of it.

Tell me there are more credible groups than those? I mean, if that's all [we] got, then the normative majority (read: non-religious/non-homophobic) are screwed.