On a recent outing to purchase a new tube of lip gloss, I accidentally bought a lip plumper instead. I didn't realize my mistake until I applied the darn thing and tasted pain instead of the berry flavor I was expecting. In the words of Paris Hilton, I thought to myself, "that's hot."
What in heaven's name is this stuff? It's like punishment in a bottle. My lips didn't even look any plumper, they just felt plumper, like the way a bee sting feels plump. As I scrambled to find the nearest icepack, I was reminded of a quote that I saw in February's Allure magazine. Meryl Streep's daughter, actress Mamie Gummer, told Allure "I have chapped lips and I'm psyched about it. They look very voluminous and swollen and kind of painful - but totally hot." (If hearing your daughter explain such logic doesn't make a mother proud, I don't know what would.)
So I guess it's official then. Hot, painful lips are in. But why do we women do this to ourselves? I tried explaining my exasperation to my husband who reminded me that I sometimes wear shoes that hurt my feet. And it's true. I do. But the difference between painful shoes and lip plumper is that when I put the shoes on, they always start out feeling comfortable. It's only once I've left the house and can no longer change into a more sensible pair that my feet start to hurt. Every time. But I would never in my right mind buy a pair of shoes that were painful when I first tried them on. That's like the first rule of shoe trying on - do they fit? Can you walk around in them? And honestly, when my shoes get too intolerable once I'm out, I usually end up chucking them anyway.
But to regularly apply a product that is supposed to burn and sting every time you use, just in the hopes of looking "sexier" seems nothing short of masochistic to me. So what do you think? Should we mouth off on this one or just grin and bare it?