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December 14, 2007


Heather  Carson

I have seen this attitude: "if you are disturbed by overly sexual imagery plastered in public areas then you are probably a "prude," a word which, today, connotes that one disapproves of sex and may not even enjoy it herself."
Most notably, I was giving a lecture on New Testament views of sex and the marital relationship and was asked if I practiced abstinance - the sort of "do you really believe this stuff" kind of question. I answered that yes, I did, and yes I planned to wait until I was married to have sex, again. ( I was unfortunately not a virgin anymore as I had converted to Christianity as an adult). I was then accused by an adult class member of being prude, and frigid and than I must not have enjoyed sex at all. Totally untrue! The student simply could not wrap her brain around that fact that I would abstain for religious reasons.


AMEN!!! I have often been called a "prude" because I disapprove of the casualization of sex. I remember being the girl on my floor who would not participate in "sex talks", when the girls would share their fantasies of their married sex life. And by the way, I am at a Mormon university. We are taught to regard sex as something private and sacred. I don't think sex is a casual subject at all, especially when you're talking about your fantasies (I don't want to know).

Sex is beautiful and sacred. I am abstaining from sex until I am married. I look forward to sharing that beautiful thing with my future husband, but I am not obsessing about it.

Thank you for this post.


Heather I give you major props. I don't what is more impressive - that you are deciding to wait until you marry, even though you are not a virgin - which I think is probably more challenging than abstinence when you are a virgin - or that you had the courage to announce this in a room full of people!

Unfortunately, the slightest conservative bent will get one labelled as a "prude". A young girl at work was discussing the game Grand Theft Auto, and one of the "scenarios" (if you could call it that) that happens with the prostitutes.

I can't repeat it here - it was the most foul thing I have ever heard or ever hope to hear in my life. I just looked up at hear and shook my head, and said "That is not a good game". Then I got teased for thinking it was "Not Proper".

The problem with many young women is that not only do they not think about how they add to the debasement of women; they wouldn't even understand if you explained it to them. They just think that you've got a hangup. I think for this to change it will take some major re-educating, starting with protests of how the media portrays women.


That attitude is one I find most frustrating, and the one I seem to come up against most often. "A 25-year-old who doesn't intend to sleep with anyone until she's married to him? You must just be a prude/frigid/some other unflattering noun." It's so ridiculous! The jaded attitude adopted by so many women's magazines and books, and by many of my acquaintances, doesn't seem to lead them to any greater enjoyment of sex. Yet my friends who have waited until marriage, who make a conscious effort to dress and behave modestly, all seem to end up with the sort of marriage I'm hoping and waiting for. Who is in the wrong here? I don't think it's the modest "prudes".

Grace Leigh

The irony here is that the term "prude" originally had a positive connotation. Only in recent decades has it become an insult.

I recently wrote a review of Carol Platt Liebau's new book, "Prude". If you're interested, it can be found on my website or at the following link: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=229422922&blogID=338371149


Most girls won't even talk to me, and boys constantly tell me that I am strange. "Mary you are so different and naive, but stay that way, it is nice." that is what the boys say. I just don't have anything to talk with most girls about. I don't need makeup (I am one of the lucky few), I don't date (I am waiting until I am ready to marry), I don't go see bad movies, I don't like talking trash about others, I don't have sex, I don't go to the mall every weekend, I think my parents are the best in the world, I love my three sisters and two brothers, I love being the eldest (sometimes:), I am very religious and go do mass every Sunday and Holy day, I try to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church, my temper is my downfall. I just don't have much to talk with girls about.

In my family movies with sex are much more closely monitored than movies with violence. When we were little we asked our parents what the rating SC stood for and they told us "scariness" so now the older kids will tell each other that the little kids cannot see this movie because it is rated for scariness. This keeps them from being aware of the reasoning behind why they cannot watch some movies. I mean my 6 year old sister saw all the Lord of the Rings movies in theaters when she was 2-3-4-5 and she has seen most of Gladiator, but none of us including myself and excluding my parents have seen some of the scenes of the first Borne movie, or Kingdom of Heaven, etc. This is part of the reason we love DVR so much is that the older kids or our parents can preview a show before we watch it. I am 18 and my mom likes to watch Numb3rs with me because some of the shows have some sex scenes. Because of DVR I just wait until half an hour after the show starts then I start watching it and if there is a bad part I can skip over it. I hate the way there is almost no show that does not have sex in it. The other day I turned on the TV and it was on a cartoon station and there was Batman in bed with his girlfriend. I mean this was a cartoon on a children's station! My little brothers or sisters could have turned on that show and not known to change the channel before it was too late. I mean my mom has now said that one of the older kids has to preview a few episodes of each cartoon series before the little kids can watch them. We watch the Avatar and my mom does not like it because some of the kids like other kids, but my dad watched it and said that it is mostly OK and that is the best that it is going to get out there. I AM SICK OF THIS!


Well, I think sex is sacred too... BUT don't you think it's odd that it is more okay to exploit and "casualize" violence. I'd take casual sex any day over casual violence.


hi ms grubin! its ur students!

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