"Crazy Sexy Cancer"?

In 2006 Justin Timberlake brought the world "SexyBack" (although after a year of intense pondering, I still cannot figure out what the heck this song actually means), but now in August 2007, a woman named Kris Carr is bringing sexy back to cancer as her documentary "Crazy Sexy Cancer" will be debuting on TLC at the end of the month.

The film itself actually looks quite interesting. As described on her website, the idea for the documentary came about in 2003 after the "31-year-old actress/photographer...was diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer. Weeks later she began filming her story. Taking a seemingly tragic situation and turning it into a creative expression, Kris shares her inspirational story of survival with courage, strength, and lots of humor."

I'm all for using creativity to help someone get through a hard time. I'm all for people getting over taboos and being strong and courageous. I just don't get where "sexy" fits in here and now this movie about a disease has made me sick of how ubiquitous the word sexy has become. If sexy can now be paired even with cancer, then we have truly reached a point where everything is sexy and if everything is sexy, then nothing is. And that is crazy!

Comments

[Julia]

Posts like this one really make me feel as though the writers of this blog simply get freaked out at any mention of sexuality (unless it's used in the context of procreation of course). I don't get it. The title of the film is obviously a play on the song "Crazy Sexy Cool." It doesn't mean that cancer is sexy. It doesn't mean everything is sexy or has to be sexy. But even if it did - even if the message of the film was that, say, women shouldn't be afraid to be sexy - what exactly would be so bad about that? If the filmmaker wants to strive to feel "sexy" (which to her might mean attractive, confident, powerful, or any number of things) while battling cancer, I say rock on. That's what I don't get about this site - sexy is always automatically bad or harmful to women, something women are pushed into. Don't any of you see how patronizing that is?

[Ann]

I completely agree with previous poster. "Sex" isn't a bad word. Widen your mind as to how beautiful "sexy" is, how integral a part of our beings. And how critical for a woman diagnosed with cancer to continue to feel sexy at a time when society will likely view her as anything but. Sex is not inherently bad (rather the opposite), nor is it less meaninful outside of marriage. Rather, it is something which, like religion, is best understood in purely personal ways.

[Gila]

I agree with Allison. I don't care what it's a play off of, I think it was a very poor choice for a title. How about just "Crazy Sexy Sexy Sexy," to raise AIDS awareness? There has to be a limit, people. I find it more patronizing actually that everyone thinks I need to hear "sexy" all the time or I won't pay attention to something!

Sexy is not harmful but when it's used to sell everything, even cancer, that kind of advertising is IMO very harmful.

[Alexandra Foley]

Interesting posts. In some ways I agree w/ the first two comments that we shouldn't get our knickers in a twist every time "sexy" is used and the fact that it is a play on a song title gives it a certain carte blanche. But my other reaction is that the incessant use of "sexy" as the summum bonum of all things is so, so, well, un-sexy! Clearly, the woman's intent is not in question, but rather it's the culture habit of using "sexy" -- something that is intimate and private and beautiful as a way of elevating something to a higher station. Sex is natural, important and wonderful (not to mention great fun!) but when we promote it to something higher than it is and (even worse) start misusing the word to describe all kinds of unrelated things, I believe we will do harm to both our philology and our sex lives.

I also think you misrepresent the aim of modestyzone. The point is not about repressing sexuality but to be celebrating it in a healthy way. And as with all matters that concern health, there needs to be a certain balance and moderation. Yes, calling cancer "sexy" is a clever nod to a song but you still have to admit that that isn't a moderate use of the word "sexy."

Actually, calling cancer sexy reminds me of the immortal line from the excellent movie, The Last Days of Disco, when the heroine, trying desperately to be "sexually liberated" says to a man that she's picked up at a bar, "I think Scrooge McDuck is sexy." Her pathetic attempt to make all things "sexy" was hilariously embarrassing (and ingeniously written) but apparently the lesson was not widely learned.

[Emily]

In a society where women are encouraged to conflate feeling "attractive, confident, powerful, or any number of things" under the reductive catchall 'sexy'- well yes I think this lady is going to feel the loss very keenly of 'losing' her 'sexiness' to cancer.

"how critical for a woman diagnosed with cancer to continue to feel sexy at a time when society will likely view her as anything but"- well this is kinda the point- if we perhaps viewed a woman's sexuality as something subjectively FELT and experienced, and inherent to her very being, rather than a feeling or designation she is expected to PROVOKE and which is bestowed on her by an observing society- then maybe she wouldn’t feel that because of her physical illness and decline in appearance the quality had left her entirely and that she had to 'prove' she still had it. And what happens if noone 'agrees' with her that she IS capable of still being 'sexy' with the cancer? Will that make her feel powerful, attractive and confident?
I take issue with the idea that a woman's vitality and usefulness and worth in the world is based on her ability to ermmm... elicit a boner in the largest number of people possible. That's why I really object to the way 'sexy' seems to have become the highest praise anyone can think to give a woman.

[Mitzi]

Our society has everything so backwards. Now religion is supposed to be a private, personal thing that you dare not display in public, while your sexuality is supposed to be something to proudly and prominently display to everyone! That is the real "craziness" in this situation. A woman with cancer wants to feel beautiful and loved. "Sexy" is a part of that just as "delicious" is a part of a good dinner. "Satisfying" and "good for the soul" are the parts that get left out when you reduce what a woman needs to "sexy".

[Anna S]

I must say I'm befuddled. What on earth can be sexy about... cancer???

[mary o'hayes]

I didn't get the song reference.

I agree with Allison, why does everything have to be sexy? I had similar sentiments when I read about this book. Why are women supposed to feel sexy all the freakin' time? This is a lop-sided, fixated culture we live in.

[Emily]

Exactly Mary- Chemo/radiotherapy is bad enough without being made to feel you oughtta look HAAAAWT doing it :o(

[sparker]

I feel like everyone forgot that the disease is what brought her to enjoy her life to the fullest. I don't think she was calling the disease sexy. I believe it's what the disease has made her into. She herself said that cancer was her guru. It brought her to become what she is. And anyone who has come to realize what life is about and feels a positive strong place in it, knows that that is the sexiest feeling in the world. Balance, positivity, confidence and optimism make people sexy. If it took a disease to get you there, I don't think it's in anyone's right to judge their take on the word. Every word to every person has a different meaning dependent on your personal experiences. I hope that all makes sense. Thanks for reading.

[Aaron]

I also gulped when I first saw the ad for this show. If this is some reference to crazy, sexy, cool- then why? I think it's a misguided and poor homage to an album. Plus the channel it airs on IS called TLC. They should have avoided that link all together. Is T-boz ok with all of this? I agree with the post- if everything is sexy then nothing is sexy. It seems reckless and disrespectful to a serious issue. Things should be inherently sexy. We will pick up on that. We are not morons. But being beat over the head with sexy is a bit desperate and it grasps at trendy pop culture. I understand that young women with cancer still want to live normal lives and sex is a part of all that. But why does sexy have to be in the title? It’s tasteless. TLC should have used some sensitivity and discretion. If cancer is sexy then emphysema is so chic.

[Ken]

During the spring of 1975, I watched my mother die from a combination of small-cell lung cancer and chemotherapy. Today, the LiveJournals I monitor includes one journaling the LJer's girlfriend/wife (don't remember which) dying from ovarian cancer despite all the treatments.

I didn't see anything "Crazy Sexy" about cancer then, and I don't see anything "Crazy Sexy" about it now.

And shouldn't that be pronounced "CRA-zee SEX-ay!"?

[holly]

Crazy sexy cancer. Kris is not defining cancer in these three words. On her website she explains She does not think in any way cancer is sexy.She is summing up her experience as a woman with cancer. On her website she explains how the tlc ads were edited strangely and she explains what the title actually means.The cancer is crazy folks- it spun her on her head- made her change her life- and in a crazy way something we all fear as a horrible death sentence turned into the key to living a fufilled life. The sexy is there to describe her.( read her blog she explains this sooo well) She lives with cancer, but it doesn't mean she is a sickly patient. She is a sexy- whole- not fractured woman. You could almost say the title describes her so well . Cancer and the journey it put her on is crazy, but she is still a sexy strong whole woman. Cancer is in her definition but it does not entirely define her.

[Dee Dee]

My long time fiance died of lung cancer. There is nothing sexy about it. And it's not because I have anything against sex.

I do think the title is disrespectful to those of us who have lost (and suffered) - because of cancer.

[Ken]

Then at the very least, Kris has made a poor choice of words.

(It happens. There are a lot of phrasings that sound very clever to whoever came up with them, but turn out to be really really bad choices.)

[wendy]

As someone who lost a dear friend to cancer, I'm inclined to agree with Allison and Ken. On the other hand, I think Holly struck on something when she says,

"She is a sexy--whole--not fractured woman."

Now, if you look up "sexy" in the dictionary, you won't find "whole" anywhere in the definition. Nonetheless, I think Holly is on to something. Kris really does seem to be using the word to mean something like "whole" or OK, and isn't it revealing that this is what sexy now means? You are OK as long as you are sexy.

[holly]

I don't think kris uses the word sexy to mean ok. When I said whole woman- I didn't expect it to be in the definition of sexy. To be a whole woman means you have many many many aspects. Including sexuality.As women in this blog we all have sexuality in our definition- we chose through example and through advice we give to be modest to limit sex to marriage, to not be provocitive.Many women with cancer are seen as suffering, sick- they are defined by the cancer. Kris chose the word sexy to provoke conversations like this to force people to see beyond the disease, beyond the suffering. They are still beautiful women. Could she have picked a more modest word- yes- but it does force you to think because of the word sexy. Interestingly the women she features in her film are almost all married- including herself. She is not promoting promiscuity or overt sexuality.

[pam]

I like this site. I think it expresses a point of view that you don't hear very often nowadays. It is politically incorrect in some ways. And the outbursts are in the main emotional, and I think have partly to do with aesthetics - a kind of moral aesthetics. I don't think the women voicing their seemingly conservative views are anti-sexy or don't enjoy sex; I think it is the blatant, crude, un-subtle and unromantic expressions of it that ruin the whole sacredness and mystery of sex. But at the same time, one just has to step back and accept the fact that human beings are diverse - some have stronger libidos than others, some start younger, some prioritize sex appeal, others' aesthetics and mode of self-expression are more direct, or of a different kind, etc., and it is okay. Even in the midst of promiscuity, there always have been its opposite. In fact, promiscuity is less pervasive than all the fanfare would have us believe. It may exist for a period of time for a particular individual, but it tapers off eventually. Human beings are just not built for it; only a minority would continue such a behavior for a lifetime. And there will always be people for whom sexiness is not a priority - just look around you. You will see that the majority of people are not displaying their assets in inappropriate settings. There is no danger of everything going to pot. Children and teenagers do grow up to realize that chasing after fantasies (the ultimate sexual experience, the most expensive car, the biggest house, etc.) are materialistic, empty pursuits. Hundreds of movies and novels will tell them so - this means they are still exposed to an alternative point of view.

It's just too bad that it is sex that sells and that gets people's attention; otherwise it wouldn't be all around us so much, distracting us to make us spend in this consumerist society. It isn't the sexual mores that are the problem as much as the economic culture we live in. This is why even a benefit for cancer will use the word 'sexy' to get people to watch a documentary about the disease. Oh well, c'est la vie.

[Meg]

I was obviously brought up in the wrong generation - I have no idea what that song is. I have to say, maybe the documentary author is trying to define herself in those three words, or define her life as crazy, sexy, and with cancer. Even though I can say that, I still don't agree with it, mainly because I'm sick of the word 'sexy' being used for EVERYTHING. The commenters are right - who wants sexy to be the highest praise you can give a woman?

[Tanya]

I do not think there is anything wrong with the title when you see it for what it is. I'm sure the author has come up with a very philosophical explaination, but I think it is plain and simple, using the word sexy to get attention. Which is what people who make documentaries or whaever need, is publicity. If you don't go as extreme as you possibly can then no one will pay attention to you. Everything and everyone has to be sexy all the time if they want attention.

Good grief. I don't think I will bother to see this.

[Priya]

I think that sexy is now the equivalent of alive or normal but well as with anything related to the individual it loses alot of it's potency when made accessible to the masses, surely we do not wish to only achieve "sexy" the funny thing is that sexual attractiveness is one of the easier things to master as there is always someone who will find you attractive - maybe there are better things to be concentrating on that will give your life a little more dimension...

[Knossos]

The fact that the title is causing some debate proves that it has done its job--to pull the reader/viewer in and start transmission of the message, Carr's journey, and what can be learned from someone with the courage to live bold and loud in the face of 'terminal'.

[Lillian]

Yes, I also saw and watched "Crazy, Sexy, Cancer", and I admit, thought that title was a bit over the top. I figured the networks were just reaching the most demographic audiences they could muster, so they had to
inject "sexy" into the title just to grab attention.
I am also a cancer patient, and there is NOTHING sexy about losing your hair, undergoing chemo, surgery and radiation, etc. Maybe you can check out the graphic (as in cartoons) novel, "Cancervixen", a very funny but interesting read about a female cartoonist stricken by cancer?