Girls for Dinner

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to a restaurant, Girls Gone Wild is now offering their own.

What's the theme of this new chain? Founder Joe Francis promises to provide the finest food from the finest chefs, all in a tasteful and family-friendly environment, one that celebrates and promotes the dignity of woman from her earliest memories to her golden years. Just kidding. The restaurants will be about, as you would expect, girls doing erotic things to each other and men paying money to see it.

What Francis DOES say about the restaurants is this: "This is going to be about fun, lifestyle, youth, sun. It's about everything 'Girls Gone Wild.'" (I love the use of the word 'lifestyle' here, implying that we must not to dare judge him or his enterprise.) And he adds: "It's going to be sexy without being sexual." Now that is an interesting distinction. I’m tempted to file it next to the category of justifications that include subscribing to Playboy "for the articles" and going to Hooters "for the wings."

But perhaps Francis’s most astonishing claim is that his restaurants are not just for male perverts (my term, not his) but for women who "want to feel sexy, exciting, and edgy." Given economic hardship I can understand the Hooters waitress or the GGW worker doing it for the money, but what about the woman who agrees to go there for dinner?

It seems to me that if a boyfriend or a date suggests this to you in earnest, he has amply proved his unworthiness to be your boyfriend or your date. Can you think of any justifiable reasons for a boyfriend to bring you there?

Comments

[L.B.]

Women going there for dinner? I don't even know any self-respecting lesbians who would visit a place like that.

This could be cultural--I know many women in some places happily visit strip clubs with their boyfriends or spouses. They might see it as empowering instead of demeaning toward everyone involved.

I wonder if there's a health code against being served by nude waitresses.

[Bethany]

In my community college class, the whole group wanted to go out to eat to celebrate finishing a big test. Hooters was the first suggestion--- by the 16 year old girl! That wasn't the first time I'd heard her mention the place either. She and a few girl friends would go there just by themselves even...? I and two other guy friends ended up changing their minds because we refused to accompany them at all if Hooters was the destination.

That article said that this guy produces 80 DVDs a year!!!! That is absolutely astounding. And so, so sad.

[Heather]

Can't think of a one! That is one restaurant we will NOT be going to. And hubby doesn't dare even mention Hooters to me. I don't care how good the "wings" are.

I read you constantly -- I just don't frequently commnet.

[Ken]

The restaurants will be about, as you would expect, girls doing erotic things to each other and men paying money to see it.

Sounds more like a "Hot Lesbo Action (TM)" peep show than an eatery.

[Emily]

"Can you think of any justifiable reasons for a boyfriend to bring you there?"

Cos he wants it to be the last one? Cos he wants me to barf my meal over him?

[spudmom]

The only way I would set foot in a place like that is if I were a health inspector; and I would be really, really thorough.

Maybe the question we need to ask is why so many young women have completely lost their self-respect? Isn't that what the feminist movement promised to give them, by telling them that finally they could achieve positions of equality in the workplace if they studied hard, or could be respected for their athletic skills by competing on boy's teams? Instead we have women who strip for beer and perform lewd acts on each other to get cheers from their male friends. Are they that starved for attention and praise that they will debase themselves in public? Or are the adults in their life just too afraid to tell them the truth; that they will one day regret all of this when they learn that their children can google them and find it all.

[spudmom]

And, Alexandra, doing it because you need money is the classic excuse of thieves and prostitutes. People who have standards and values will not change them just because they are short of cash. They work harder and spend less. They get a roommate or sublet a room. They take care of a senior citizen in exchange for room and board. They may even ask for public or private assistance. People who do things they are ashamed of just because of a few dollars more per hour put a low value on their soul.

[Mandi]

Yes - If he'd like to take you there to stand outside and protest the obvious disgrace to women. ;O)

[Adam]

doing it because you need money is the classic excuse of thieves and prostitutes. People who have standards and values will not change them just because they are short of cash. They work harder and spend less.

The principle here (the sinfulness of prostitution and theft) I would absolutely agree with.

However, even scripture recognizes that when a man steals because he is hungry you aren't to despise him. (Prov. 6:30) And historically there have been instances where prostitution was resorted to specifically and only because there was *no* other way to feed their families. Example: Berlin after the collapse of the Nazi government and the subsequent occupation by the Allied forces. There are some books available about those dark times, when the absolute basics weren't available: food, water, soap, protection from roving bands of Soviet soldiers, etc. Thus the German women, who had high standards and values, prostituted themselves to allied soldiers. While I recognize that prostitution is wrong, I also cannot condemn the Berlin women for providing for themselves and their children in the only way they could.

I entirely recognize that such a example isn't applicable to our world today...there is no such need or situation; the only reason I bring it up is because you mentioned "the classic excuse" in your comment, and I want to point out that the "classic excuse" has a legitimate base.

[Liz Neville]

I'm with Spudmom on this. My first thought is that Joe Francis would be an out-of-work loser (as opposed to a rich, successful one) if it were not for the many, many women willing to "empower" themselves in this way.

[Liz Neville]

P.S. Ken-- you crack me up.

[Natalia from Montreal]

One day, I looked at myself in the mirror and made the dreadful discovery that something was off… It was almost like feeling weak and so, so inadequate… I was missing something… Something very important, almost essential… But what, what???
I lost much sleep thinking, thinking and pondering. The horrible uncertainty was literally devouring me from inside. What was I missing? I even resorted to a serious self-examination and made a list: self-respect – checked, faith in God – it’s there, checked… higher education – so, so, ok, checked, decent employment – checked (at least for now), love of the neighbor – well, I try my best, that should count for something – checked, etc., etc., etc. What then, what???
And then, one blessed day, it came to me. In a flash of bright light, blinding me with the glory of its shining wisdom!... What I was missing was “empowerment”!!!
But how does one get “empowerment”? And once one gets it, how does one know one has it?
I was ready to gather all of my dedication and assiduity to embark on what I believed to be another long and hard search. Fortunately, dear Mr. Francis spared me the needless trouble by providing the obvious answer: One gets “empowered” by giving men what they wanted from the dawn of civilization: cheap and vulgar sexual thrills completely devoid of any emotional involvement or higher aspirations!!! I shall be “empowered” by making male desires and my wanting the same!... And how will I know that I am now and forever really, really “empowered”? Well, that’s easy: the more men will applaud, scream and drool at the sight of my performance, the more my “empowerment” will increase, all proportionately to their excitement…
Let’s all now thank the Heavens for Mr. Francis’ sincere preoccupation with “empowering” women. What would we poor, little females do without his altruism?...
As to why do some women follow their boyfriends to Hooters or even go there by themselves? The answer is equally simple: there is nothing as spiritually, intellectually and emotionally satisfying as is rejoicing at the sight of our truly “empowered”, liberated and courageous sisters…

[Natalia, again]

My dubiously subtle sarcasm aside, we can draw some rather depressing conclusions:

- for many people, nothing better increases their self- esteem than to cheapen someone else. Women who accompany their men to Hooters, strip clubs and such have the opportunity to feel superior when comparing themselves (even if they are not always fully conscious of it) to the waitresses or the strippers, at the expense of the latter’s cheap status (thank Heavens that the days of the old women’s pact are long over)

- as all successful tyrants throughout human history know it, people are far more obedient and better manipulated if they think that what the tyrant expects from them is actually something they have invented themselves to increase their happiness and their freedom. Thus we can see why some women delude themselves thinking that catering to men’s primitive instincts somehow benefits them and not the men…

- both men and women enjoy the soothing conviction that having money gives them the right to expect anything and everything from their fellow human beings and they relish the feeling of undeserved control and authority that comes with it

Oy... I wish I could end this comment with something more uplifting…

[emily]

Spudmomof6, could you elaborate on the correlation between competing on boys sports teams and workplace success with young women flocking to places like Hooters and this crappy place of Joe Francis'? None of my personal feminist principles square with that, and I don't really see a flow-on effect from workplace success---> stripping. I hate excercise but I can't blame it for the downfall of female sexual mores.

[Rivkasmom]

Some women would agree to go to GGW with their partners because they want to be "good sports" and "one of the guys". After all, isn't that what feminism has made them want to be - one of the "guys"?

[N. from Mtl]

One of the guys... How sadly true...
I have a little story to tell. English is not my first language (nor my second), so these type of linguistic oddities always strike me as rather disturbing, perhaps more than they would a native speaker...
So, I was travelling on the train yesterday, and a young man in the seat in front of me was killing time by playing some sort of game on his cell phone. The game involved some high-pitched noise which must have gotten even on his nerves (I wouldn’t suspect him to worry about our comfort unless his own was jeopardized first) because he asked us (two other men and me) the following question: ‘‘Do you guys mind the noise?’’ GUYS??? If I am a female and flagrantly so, how exactly do I qualify as one of the guys, simply because I am seated next to three of them?!...
Saying ‘‘you guys’’ is very common nowadays, and I’ve been told that when a group is mixted, ‘‘guys’’ somehow refers to everyone... However, I’ve heard girls refer to other girls as ‘‘guys’’!... Why is the masculine standard so pervasive, if, thanks to the feminists, women can, supposedly for the very first time in human history, finally be proud of being women?
Moreover, if we follow that logic, it should be applied to the opposite side too, that is to say to men. Thus, the term ‘ladies’ should be applied to a mixted group or, when needed, to a group of men... And yet, and yet.... From what I’ve been able to observe, refering to men as ‘ladies’ is a type of unimaginative insult...
Could someone enlighten me and explain why, in this era of so-called equality, being called a lady is demeaning whereas being addressed as ‘guy’ is meant to make one feel embraced and included?...
Meanwhile, I wish all the ladies and all the guys (separately!) a great day!

[Adam]

I would suggest that "guys" is a colloquial euphemism that is expressing a generic, and not inherently gender specific, application. For example, "mankind" includes, accurately, both males and females; in certain usages, the term "man" does as well. Could this be indicative of a prevailing gender confusion? Perhaps, but I think not.

On another note, that is the reason I use 'y"all' when referring to large, mixed companies. :-)

[Elin]

Natalia, I do think Adam's right on this one - "guys" in such a context nowadays is just a colloquial way to refer to "people". I do it myself - to groups of men, mixed groups, and groups of women. I think it has become ubiquitous because the female equivalent of "guys" is "gals" or "girls" and the feminist movement has taught us that "girls" is inappropriate for grown women. (My 76 year old mother, on the other hand, still refers to female friends of her own age as "girls", which they clearly are not, but it's sort of sweet!) Does this result in a denigration of the femininity of the women so addressed? Perhaps, but it is not necessarily meant that way. If anything, it is something that is more subtly built into colloquial English (much like the phrase "I don't buy that [argument]" displays the pervasive consumerism of our culture, but may be said by someone who is not trying to be overtly consumeristic.)

Also, Natalia (I notice you're from Montreal, so perhaps one of your other languages is French), in French and some other languages, the masculine form is ALWAYS used for mixed groups of people: i.e. you say "ils" for a mixed group instead of "elles" even if the mixed group is ten women and one man.

That said, I think you are right on in your analysis of the "empowerment" of women by Hooters/Girls Gone Wild restaurants and similar establishments!

[Natalia]

Hi everyone! Thank you for your answers! This is really fun!...
Actually, I’m from Poland. In the old days in the old country :), people used to say words like “company”, “all assembled”, “friends”, “guests”, “mr and mrs”, “brothers and sisters”, “children”, “young people”, “ladies and gentlemen”, “boys and girls”, “team” and all of that, when addressing a mixed group, all depending on age, context and the level of intimacy, of course. Then came the communists to "liberate” us. We all know how that ended, so I’m always very suspicious of anyone who’s eager to “liberate” me. So, once we’ve been “liberated”, words like “citizen” and “camrade” were de rigueur. I don’t know what people say nowadays, because I’m already pretty out of it...
In my experience, the way people address one another, is always very reflective of general trends, wheter political or social...
It is true, that at least in English, the term “man” can simply refer to a human being, regardless of gender. However, just to be stubborn and contrary ;), I have to add that when used in singular, “guy” designates a male and only a male, so why should it be valid for both sexes when used in plural? :)
But I think we can all agree that there is nothing as delightful as being called “hey you” on the street, especially by someone half your age...
I’m ending my tirade here because we’ve really strayed from the main subject... :)

[Heather Carson]

With regard to the comment about women accompanying their boyfriends..I dated a guy in college whom I later figured out was a sex addict. He frequented strip clubs as part of his acting out. I went with him a couple of times in a desperate effort to overcome my own insecurities as well as try to "control" his acting out. Thank G-D that's over! I've since learned that this is a common phenomenon amongst partner's of sex addicts.

[Emily]

Heather, your post reminded me of something that really annoys me lately, which is all tv/magazine/radio 'sex-therapists' who turn around and try to encourage women to watch porn or go to strip clubs etc with their partners to open up and improve their sex lives. The problem is YOUR'S, ladies, Just START LIKEING IT, okay?? It's YOU! Your husbands behaviour isn't the problem, YOUR attitude to sex is!! Puh lease.

[Trinia]

that sucks that a guy would take a woman to a restaurant like that. I hate hooters and anything like that and it's not a family place, not unless you plan on teaching your children Early Erotic Education 101 and 10 Ways to View Women as objects. What a shame! Anyways, check out my blog on sexual promiscuity. Something I read today on one of my favorite forums kinda shocked me, and so, here is my response http://www.myspace.com/beautifuldreamer28 .