Femininity: An Alternative View?

In the spirit of interfaith dialogue I came across this article from aljazeera.net and thought that it would be interesting for Modesty Zone fans. While the article focuses on Muslim women’s dress and more specifically the abaya- a long and usually black overgarment- it raises some key points on modesty. Do we, like some of the women quoted in the article, practice modesty to avoid unwanted attention from men? Or do we practice modesty to protect the sacredness of the feminine identity? At the end of the article one Muslim man says, “In Islam we value women, like jewels and diamonds. They are so precious that they should be covered. They are not like pieces of broken glass lying on the street.”

Religion and the desire to cover as extensively as some Muslim women do aside, I think his opinion touches on key aspects of the modesty movement. As I’ve written about before, there is this idea of the immense value of women and the absolute need to recognize and respect that. In our society, I think women are certainly recognized but not necessarily respected by men or among themselves. Just look at the state of popular women’s media whether it is TV or magazines. Respect of women (depicting us as intelligent, complex, nurturing, and creative beings) is sorely lacking in these mediums.

Another element that the quotation brings up is the controversy between modesty and women’s liberation. Some believe that the way for women to express their value is through freeing themselves from the professional and and sexual bonds that they feel have hindered women from realizing their true self-worth. I understand this opinion and agree that women should express their value in such a way that it benefits others. Being in a fulfilling career, being a successful stay-at-home mom, an active student, or a religious sister are some of the ways to do this. Where I disagree with the women’s lib movement is on their overbearing emphasis on the self. Exaggerated self-awareness, self-worth, individual sexual expression (as if one’s sexual expression has no effect on anyone else).

At the heart of all of this is a narcissistic view of femininity that strays so far away from a woman’s gifted nature- that of being a sophisticated care-giver (an actual giver of care and love to those in need)- that it transforms feminist identity into a grotesque and self-obsessed affair.

This phenomenon is similar to really horrible and sometimes offensive contemporary art (don’t get me wrong, contemporary art is one of my favorite types of art) where the artist justifies the painting’s existence by citing it as “self-expression”. No doubt, this is their self-expression but it is neither beautiful nor edifying to others as true art is supposed to be. Such is the case with self-obsessive feminism and explains why it clashes so much with modesty which, I believe, is centered around respecting the value of a woman as care-giver and ultimately “mothers” of humanity.

Comments

[spudmomof6]

I would hate to disagree with al-Jazeera, but I find it a little ironic that a culture that supposedly values women like jewels does so by keeping them (metaphorically) locked up in a safe rather than displayed on the finger. So walking behind one's male chaperone, not having rights to property or not being allowed to go to school is a sign of respect? Valuing purity and motherhood is one thing, but female genital mutilation and lack of female custody rights is a strange way to show it.
But then, I would hate to have to go back to the days of corsets just to emphasize how fragile I am. Kind of hard to rototill my garden that way. Which makes me wonder; how much of historical Western modesty was more related to protection against sunburn or cold than lascivious male eyes? How have other cultures who live in hot climes displayed modesty of comportment, when they wear little or nothing to begin with? Is is harder to convey a modest attitude in a more "exposed" culture, or does each have its own clues that are easy to pick up on for both sexes?

[Elin]

Interesting article, Nene. But what I find even more interesting is the traditional Muslim raison d'etre for extremely modest dress for women (which I have heard before, not just in this article): "In Islam we value women, like jewels or diamonds..." Jewels and diamonds are precious and valuable, this is true. But more to the point, they are OBJECTS. They are things that one possesses and must keep another from stealing. They have no free will or personality of their own. They are not able to decide to whom they want to belong. The are inert, valuable only to those who possess or wish to possess them.

It is one thing for a woman to see her sexuality as a jewel to be guarded, and quite another for a man to see a woman as a jewel to be guarded - even if the result is that both women dress modestly. One celebrates the woman's individuality and personhood, the other diminishes it.

I am not saying all Muslims think of women in this way. I am just saying that this particular rationale tends in this direction.

[Liz Neville]

Wonderful piece, Nene, and something that's been on my mind for a while too. I must say my skeptical side (which is most of me) reacts to the quotes about the precious nature of women as so much high-minded hooey, and I'm not even sure it's so high-minded as self-serving. So there I jump in with Elin, and wonder exactly what this preciousness really means when it has the effect of muzzling and muffling the abilities and true worth and nature of women. I wonder what any practicing Muslim women who think I'm wrong about this would say?

[Mary O'Hayes]

The "bin Laden design"? "The bin Laden (abaya) covers a woman from her head to her toe, revealing only her face." Ughhh. Let's not shoot ourselves in the foot being multiculturally sensitive and being grateful for anybody that could possibly be an ally to the modesty movement. Anybody who sells or wears a "bin Laden" abaya is not our ally.

The article is accompanied by a picture of a woman wearing a niqab, which covers everything except the eyes. Talk about totally contrary to our Western culture!

Sorry, there's an enormous controversy in numerous countries around the world - including France, Tunisia, Netherlands, Iran, Morocco, and England - about the clothing being worn by conservative Muslim women. In some Muslim countries and in Muslim schools in non-Muslim countries, even non-Muslim women are forced to wear head scarves and abayas. It would be hard to find a topic that's more politically loaded than hijab. Let's not be naive bunnies here, and allow ourselves to simply focus on the modesty aspects of hijab.

[wendy]

Thanks, Nene, it's always interesting to read about different takes on the same subject. Especially when the differences are underscored.

I am also in shock at the Bin Laden design, and I agree with Mary that it is very scary indeed. But more generally, I'm suspicious of justifications for modesty that focus only on the women (though obviously, I believe that their role is key).

I think Nene's question about avoiding attention from men is really crucial: how far do we take that? I'd like to see support for a single high standard instead of expecting the most from the women and the least from the men. If a man is staring at a woman wearing regular clothing, and making her feel uncomfortable, I think the man needs to be educated more than the woman needs to be further covered.

Now, I am coming from a Jewish perspective where modesty for both sexes is a vehicle for the soul to shine through. But I think people of all faiths could agree that modesty to enhance individuality vs. modesty to suppress individuality could not be further apart. Perhaps even further than modest vs. immodest dress, which often share "expressing individuality" as their goal.

[Sarah]

Liz - speaking as a Muslim woman (by way of some background, I'm a Wellesley graduate, currently working in the social development sector in Pakistan and a lurker on this blog), I think you bring out an interesting point. I'm not sure if I do have an answer for you - but I would like to point out that irrelevant of where Woman is in the world, she always struggles to be valued for her abilities, and to be seen beyond what her body represents. Given this struggle, I would have to agree that the focus should be, as Wendy points out, on modesty being required "from both sexes as a vehicle for the soul to shine through" (Wendy, thanks for sharing this!). While she highlights the Jewish tradition, I'd like to share that even the Muslim tradition - according to our faith (and not according to the cultures that stress female genital mutilation), modesty is incredibly important, with dress serving as one manifestation. Behavior is equally important - one of the most oft-quoted verses from the Qu'ran is:

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them: and God is well aware of what they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty…" (Qu'ran, 24: 30-31)."

An interesting point to note is that men are addressed *first* - and sadly, this is an injunction that many men do not follow, do not internalize.