Living With the Opposite Sex

Harvard certainly never gets tired of providing me with fresh fodder for blog posts!  Most recently, the Undergraduate Council (our student government) voted overwhelmingly in favor of a bill that encourages the University to make it easier for students to live in co-ed rooms.  The bill also earned the support of The Harvard Crimson in one of its daily staff editorials.  I was actually at the meeting in which this occurred and I can attest to the fact that there was little to no discussion about the bill.

In all fairness, the meeting had gone on for nearly three hours already because of the debate over the women's center and another debate over whether or not to fund a campus Christian fellowship because of its "discriminatory" faith clause, which basically states that exec members of the fellowship must be Christian.  Anyway, it was saddening to see that the UC did not care to debate this bill more, but perhaps the representatives don't see any possibility of negative results.

I, however, am wary of the benefits and fearful of the possible outcomes that will result if the University actually does make it easier for male and female students to live in the same suites.  If you've followed my blog posts at all, you'll know already that I am disappointed that this will facilitate harmful behaviors.  Students in relationships will no longer have to jump through any hoops to spend the night together.  I've been reassured that students in relationships don't want to be around each other all the time, but I find that to be untrue in many cases, considering how many of my friends live with their respective significant others over the summer and after college.  I've also heard the argument that we might as well make it easier for people to spend the night together since they're just gonna go ahead and do it anyway.  Hmm, does this mean that we should legalize robbery since certain people are going to go ahead and take what's not theirs anyway?

One member of the UC who usually votes the way that I would if I were on student council voted in favor of the bill.  When I asked him why, he cited his main concern as married students who were forced to live off-campus because of school policies.  However, the University is willing to work with students who have special situations and will give them University-affiliated housing.  It is also possible to petition the masters (those who run the show) of each house (upperclass dorm) in special circumstances such as this.  Making a rule because of the exception--for there can't be more than a small handful of married Harvard undergraduates on this campus--is not warranted in this situation.  There are procedures in each house for asking for special housing arrangements if necessary, and that is sufficient.

And what about floaters?  Floaters are students who enter the housing lottery by themselves and usually end up put in a suite with other people that they don't know.  The gender set-up of the rooms in a house can lead to an inability to fit students who don't want to room with members of the opposite sex into single-sex rooms.  There's potential for a logistical nightmare.

Nonetheless, these are not my main problems with the idea of co-ed housing at Harvard.  The biggest concern I have is the safety of women.  Allowing men and women to live together in the same suites can lead to an increase in sexual assault, especially since many women who are sexually assaulted are assaulted by someone they know.  Locks will have to be installed on each room door within a suite, especially on the bathroom.  How much this will cost--and who will foot the bill--is unknown.  And what about those students who are dating and live together but then go ahead and break up?  Is the College going to be forced to find a way to accommodate them when they're no longer willing to live together? 

Harvard should stick with the status quo on this one.  I've never heard anyone complain about having to live with members of the same sex--I've only heard them complain about particular roommates.  And LGBT students have always had the option of petitioning their house masters for special arrangments.  We shouldn't make co-ed housing the default. 

Comments

[Sarah]

Meghan,

Although I share your concern regarding the safety of women entering into this situation, hopefully all women choosing to live in this manner will have thoughtfully considered their decision to live with men. I also hope that students who are "floaters" will have the option on their housing contract to cite whether or not they have a preference when it comes to living in a co-ed situation or not.

I lived with a male friend of mine one summer during college mainly due to necessity of finding another subleaser, but it was also a choice. We had separate bedrooms, and I was never concerned of the impropriety of the living arrangement. I always felt safe, and I was good friends with this person.

I can see where you are worried that this situation would get out of control, but I guess you have to have a little faith that your classmates will show some restraint and common sense regarding this issue. Just because unmarried couples can live together in residence halls doesn't mean they necessarily will choose to. Couples choosing to enter in to this arrangement will have to face the realities that many other unmarried couples living together face -- how serious is this commitment, and what if we do break up? It is really the university housing authority's problem as to what to do regarding roommate changes if couples start fighting. I was an RA for two years during college, and believe me, I mediated many same-gender roommate fights that could easily compare to a fight that a couple living together could have. So really it boils down to the level of maturity of your fellow students and whether you believe them capable of making responsible choices regarding their relationships.