Stone vs. Helma

Sharon Stone recently offered this bit of advice to teenage girls:  if they don't want to have sex and they're feeling pressured, just offer oral sex instead.

An article in Contact Music UK reports Stone as saying:

Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them: oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job.

It's hard to imagine advice that could possibly be worse than this, not even in our Gallery of Bad Advice.  Never mind how many  STDs  can be transmitted via oral sex. Teens really do have the right to say no--entirely--to sex.  I realize this may seem novel nowadays, but isn't it better to give them the tools to say no, if that's what they want to say, instead of sending them the message that they'd better have some sexual favor to offer?  What about their value as individuals, apart from their ability to offer sexual favors?

If someone is really "pressing" a girl for sex, as Stone puts it, then what ever happened to the old-fashioned slap in the face? 

If you're despairing because of Stone's remarks--don't, because there's always hope.  This month, it comes in the person of one Mary-Margaret Helma. 

She's brilliant, she's inspiring, and she even makes cool modest clothes. 

So, who do you think is the wave of the future: Mary, or Sharon?

 

Comments

What kind of world does she live in where a girl can't "get out of sex?" Short of being raped, you can always walk away. An elbow to the nose (or a knee to another area) is a pretty resounding "no" to the guy who just won't stop.

People that encourage compromising are actually more dangerous than those who advocate extreme behavior; it's easier to react against an extreme. I hate this oral-sex is middle ground idea. Give a guy an inch...

[Ken]

"If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job."

You know, after hearing garbage like this, even kissing (mouth-to-mouth) starts to creep me out. As in "How do I know where those lips have been?"

[Traci]

The wave of the future...

Well, since the "blow jobs as an alternative to sex" idea is the current trend, we can hope the pendulum will swing the other way. What will it take to convince young girls that they don't have to compromise...or better yet, convince young men they don't "need" sex?

[anonymous]

Sharon Stone is one messed up person, and what a fool to offer advice like that. Girls -- it's best throw Stone's advice where it belongs, in the trash. Wait for a guy whom you can trust and love and feel safe with -- who will love with all the passion love intends.

Ken's right-- if you do all that with other guys, great guys are going to say about your actions..."it creeps me out". There are respectful men out there who are worthy of all your love and passion, better to wait for them then offer some sort of consolation prize to an unloving guy who will merely expose you to an asortment of diseases.

Seemingly Sharon hasn't found love yet either--as far as I know she's still single, and can't hang on to a guy any longer than her pathetic porn film scenes. Maybe it's because she follows her own bad path off the screen too. Why take advice from a woman who has yet to find love? Who is mocked repeatedly for her bad choices in life?

Stand up strong girls! Ignore Stone and Follow A Great Path!

[Liz Neville]

OK-- I have to admit I just could not give up my daily fug visit, and here's where it justifies itself--copy and paste the following into your URL address line and see for yourself just exactly the right answer to Miss Stone's wise counsel:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/lindsay_lohan/index.html.

And have a good laugh while you are at it.

[L.B.]

anonymous, I didn't know that we were measuring women's virtue by their ability to "hang on to a man" now.

Or, wait, are you my mother?

[Ken]

For what it's worth, local morning drive-time radio had a snarky review of Sharon Stone's new movie _Basic Instinct 2_. Their headline? "Where's the Crotch Shot? This is Sharon Stone; this is supposed to be _Basic Instinct_, isn't it?" (Basic Instinct... man, that's Freudian...)

I really would like to be able to distinguish between "real" celebrity news and _South Park_, but it's getting harder each time.

[sunnyday]

Hmm. I can't even remember the last time I read a piece of advice that was THAT low. The bar indeed needs to be raised. I hope advice that come from people like Sharon Stone (or at least those like the kind that she just gave) aren't taken seriously by people, especially the young.

[Traci]

Wendy,

To answer your question, I think Mary Helma is the wave of the future.

I think young people are tired of adults giving them this bad advice, and they are now
forging ahead in a new direction on their own.

It's an interesting time.

[reverend gisher]

thank you for this piece. not only was i booked up through next week on posts, but i really did not want to give stone any kind of props at all. jesus, spread the word not disease.

[Traci B.]

I don't disagree with this last post...but apparently we have two Tracis blogging here (or somebody appropriated my name, which would just be weird)

So, just to be clear, I'm the first Traci posted on this thread, and I'll just use my last initial from now on.

...And my mom thought spelling my name with an i would differentiate me. Ha!

[Wendy]

from Traci B: "What will it take to convince young girls that they don't have to compromise...or better yet, convince young men they don't "need" sex?"

I think if people could stop making fun of the girls who refuse to compromise--instead of calling them prudes with "hang-ups,"etc.--that would be a nice start.

If girls wanting to be more than just boy-toys didn't face ridicule, their ranks would most likely increase.

I also agree with the other Traci that Mary Helma is the wave of the future & Sharon Stone seems to be on her way out. Thanks for the "fugly" link, Liz Neville! :-)

Has anyone ordered clothes from Mary yet? I think her designs look really cool.

[Tracy]

Oops, I've been caught. My name is actually spelled 'Tracy' but I wrote Traci
to change it a bit online, not realizing that I was probably influenced by seeing your spelling. Sorry! From now on you don't have to be TraciB you can just be Traci and I will be Tracy.

I have not ordered clothes yet from Mary but I plan to.

[Shannon]

Wow, that's certainly a bad piece of advice. As a girl who's found herself in many of these situations, and retained her virginity, I'm telling ya'll, there's always a way out. No matter what type of friends you have, nobody's going to mess with the girl with the 3 inch blade. Now, I know that sounds kind of extreme, but one usually doesn't have to use it. Other's knowledge of it being neatly tucked away in your handbag, which is glued to your arm, usually discourages acts of unwanted amour...

[Katie]

Wow, that has to be the worst advice I have ever heard. I feel genuinely sorry for her, because she must feel so used by men to even offer a suggestion that low!!

When are girls going to start sticking up for themselves?? Girls!! You're worth so much more than this!!!

[jj]

That is really bad advice. People should only engage in sex, oral or otherwise if that's what they really want, not as some sort of "party favor" or peace offering. Duh