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December 01, 2005




Nobody knows how much a man has had,
but every one knows how many a woman has,
based on her scornful humor, and lifeless hope.


Gaby, a very brilliant observation you make, and absolutely on target. Bravo.


As the coin flipped, rolled, and spun through the air towards the awaiting open palm of fortune, she wished in her heart for the longest, most surreal sense of fulfillment she could experience as a woman; and as the coin splashed into destiny, a breath of prayer passed her lips which clothed sounds that spoke her heart and captured her wish...
…the wish for a husband.


Gaby, Sad times indeed for a woman who buys an imaginary engagement ring, whilst her man remains a love-slug and doesn't propose, doesn't commit, doesn't grant her respect, and worse yet doesn't give to his daughter the kind, loving, committed father she deserves!

This young woman thinks that because they have a child that her man "isn't going anywhere"--hardly the case. Sadly, in many cases like this, her hopes, what few she has left, will be dashed when he moves on. Yet, as you said well, she does need to take accountability and set the boundaries for what is acceptable. That doesn't mean the daughter can't see the father ever again, or that miracles can never happen, but it does help the daughter understand that setting boundaries is a good thing--it tells the daughter you can be strong, and you should tell a man he's wrong if he trashes your emotions and selfishly stomps on your dreams. Otherwise, that daughter will have all hope in true and lasting love crushed to smithereens, long before she comes of age and has the chance to dream and hope for it.

Erin P


I'm very interested in what you said about the dangers of fantasy. It's funny - I'm a creative, idealistic person but I agree with you that spending your life "waiting" for someone or something to come along and sweep you off your feet is not what we were put on this earth to do.

Jeannine makes a good point about the value of Danielle setting better boundaries, expectations, and about her boyfriend being a husband and father for the sake of their daughter. Parents need to put their children first, but before they can become good parents, they need to put themselves first. Not in a selfish sense. Discover their own dignity in God's eyes and in their close relationships, in the world, at-work, as-is around them.

I recommend reading The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis. There's a wonderful passage in there about how spending time with that special person you're in love with shouldn't be like throwing on an old shirt. I think a lot of it has to do with being grateful.

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