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December 12, 2005



Good Job Merav,
We all need a good tsniut reminder sometimes. Keep writing.


I was happy coming accross this site. It reflects my personal feelings about today's woman's role in society, the strong and misguided emphasis on sex and the prevalence of the idea that women are only as valuable as they are sexual.

I am from an African country where the traditional culture encourages a certain level of modesty, which unfortunately is no longer the rule nowadays. As the father of a 4 year-old girl, I am more than aware of the strong sexualization of this country's little girls, which perhaps indirectly, destroys the sense of modesty inherent in every human being, and forces girls to believe in the fallacy that as owner of their body, it is their right to expose it and dispose of it as it pleases them.

Yet a quick examination would reveal that this concept ultimately leads to their moral and social ruin, and only profits men.

I have come to realize that strangely enough, it is usually mothers who dress their little girls as lttle "strippers." Fathers are too aware of the male sexual mind to subject their girls to it.

You may be surprised to hear this, but many men enjoy the sight or touch of a woman's body, but don't want it to be necessarily thrust upon them when and where they expect it the least (belly shirts, too revealing outfits in public, low cuts pants that reveal cracks and underwear.) For many men, all this immodesty is ultimately not attractive.

When it comes to women "showing all" in movies, I feel it to be acceptable only if it "fits the plot" (if there is such a thing.) Otherwise, the titillating factor is so obvious it is bound to offend. Unfortunately, many actresses seem to believe that it is their duty to pose for magazines in revealing outfits and calendars that detail a different part of their body every month, and as their clothes fall off, so does every ounce of personal, value they were ever embued with.

What is the solution then? It starts with the parents as the child is young, and rests with her as she grows up, with the moral support and example of female role models (friends, mother, aunts, actresses... )As long as the child's self-esteem is defined by the same society that advocates thong underwear as an outer garment, precocious sexual activity as a determinant of cool, emulating strippers and porn stars as being trendy, this child will behave as the sex object she is taught to be and men will treat her as the sex object they are taught to take advantage of.


Kudos to Merav and Lim. I could hardly have put it better myself.


Great post =)

I sure wish that more men like Lim would frequent this blog and write their comments. Sometimes I think it takes men to make women realize just what is really going on.

Merav Levy

Lim, You brought up many valuable points.
Thank you.
Unfortunately, " ...the idea that women are only as valuable as they are sexual." is the message we and our youth are getting from the media today in our society.
Women are being made to feel that the only way that they can be considered "cool" or "noteworthy" is if they are sexy, and they can only be considered sexy, if they act sexy... and of course, have sex, or at least dress as though they do ... all the time. I hate to think that this is the culture in which we are raising our children. With messages like that, even kids brought up at home with great values and self confidence, will be made to feel as though they are not as “cool” as the other kids at school or they shouldn’t be so “stuck-up” or “prude”. With all the “Hollywood Idols” our children have to look up to, it’s depressing to think that this is what we are up against. This value system, where marriages have a 1 year warranty period before one spouse is bound to demand a refund and go shopping elsewhere, where women seem to be investing more money and effort in their breasts than their intellect, where self respect is based male approval... which is based on how sexual a women can present herself to be. With all these factors, it is no wonder "...men will treat her as the sex object they are taught to take advantage of."

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