Eliminate your date, or your self-esteem?

Okay.  So I'm not much of a TV watcher, but every once in a while I'll find myself up late at night - either yapping on the phone to friends, or up writing the likes of this Blog - and, to keep me company/for background noise, I may also have the TV on.  No channel in particular, as I'm not really watching, - just whichever channel I may have watched the news on beforehand.

But a couple of nights ago, I hung up the phone and actually did start to pay attention for a bit to what was showing on my TV screen.  Desperation.  Scarcely clad desperation.  And insecurity.

I must say, I've never really seen it in such obvious, unashamed form, and, more than being repulsed by the people embodying those traits on-screen, I really and truly felt sorry for them.  Sorry for them and our society that encourages them and allows this to be.

For those of you who have not been 'fortunate' enough to watch it, the show I am referring to is 'ElimiDATE'.  It is a reality-show which sets one guy amid four eligible, single girls in a dating setting of sorts, whereby the guy has the chance to shop his preferred girlfriend/date from the selection of girls before him.

The girls, on the other hand, are put in a position where they have to prove their eligibility and worth (largely in terms of physicality) to a guy who is probably not worth the seat he is sitting on.  And yet, it is both laugh and cry worthy to watch as the girls brag, 'bitch', and beg their way around this guy, literally baring their bodies and what is left of their souls to win him over.
 
What I'm seriously left wondering, though, is how it could be possible to come out of such a competition feeling a winner even if you were the final girl?  Could it honestly be gratifying knowing that you were the quickest, easiest, cheapest (no pun intended) date?  That the guy had to do nothing at all to win you over, as you threw your self at his feet?  That you were willing to give it all not being guaranteed anything at all in return? 

These girls may be 'out there' (literally) to find their guy, but it might be helpful, I'd think, if they first found themselves.

While the show may be dubbed ElimiDATE, playing on its goal in the sense that the main-character must eliminate his dates, I'd venture that the only thing eliminated on the show is self-esteem.

And, if 'the industry' moguls were not just thinking of which mansion they'd like to build today, which island they'd like to conquer tomorrow, they might do well to focus on some of yesterday's morals and try to inculcate them in the likes of their own sons and daughters. 

But actions speak louder than words in this world.  It’s no surprise, then, that the less intelligent things the show-contestants have to say, the more 'action' they'll provide - to a vast segment of our society lapping it up on their couches. And, while ‘the industry’ may hold the money, it is us who have the power to change that.

Comments

[DoNotAccomoDate]

You are right! Those dates are not worth the seat they are sitting on. But even more so, I would say the producers and promoters are not worth the seat they are sitting on. Nor are they worth the paycheck they receive. And if the producer is a parent, I find it hard to believe their child takes pride in their parent's career--it's not like having a parent who is actually creating some value in the world, or at least trying to.

[Grailpoet]

Yes this is sad and in need of remedy. Perhaps young women need to return to charm schools to relearn the forgotten art of being "pleasantly" feminine?!

[Greg Feirman]

Hey Tzippy,
LOL! Yes, ElimiDATE is pretty scary. I should point out that sometimes there is 1 girl and 4 guys who compete for a date with her.

When the guy is the chooser, it seems to me, the woman he ends up picking is usually a weighted function of looks and sluttiness, weighted towards the latter. In other words, if you are really good looking and are willing to put out a little, you can win against a less good looking but sluttier competitor. If you are the rare contestant, however, who is unwilling to put out, you will almost without exception be eliminated. Also interesting, if a woman is way too over the top, baring herself and showing absolutely no subtlety about what will happen if she gets picked, she usually gets eliminated as well. The "ideal" contestant, then, is good looking and willing to put out a bit with the not too subtle implication of the possiblity for more were she to win. Keep that in mind if you decide to give it a shot ;) Needless to say, intelligence and character usually count for nothing.

[Tzippy]

Thanks Greg for pointing out the 'other side', and specifying more of the show's procedures which I'm really not familiar with. I've only ever watched it in passing, and that's been enough for me to know that I'd gain no satisfaction in watching more of it. I definitely don't plan to give the show a shot though, if I'm going to seek to be an 'ideal' anything - I'll just stick with competing with myself, where intelligence and character count for everything ;-)

[Paul Clutterbuck]

Maturity is about recognizing that it's what's inside that counts. A mature guy will recognize that girls who show signs of hypersexuality aren't fit for marriage, because they're more likely to be unfaithful. Once that message starts getting about, it might shake some girls into a realization of what it really takes to make a man want to commit.

Cuckoldry is one of man's oldest fears, though it seems to have mostly disappeared in the last fifty years along with female modesty. I don't want to spend my life and precious resources raising another man's children, unless it's my choice to do so through adoption or something similar. Nor do I want a wife who feels she'd be better off with someone else.

Personally, I find I get embarrassed whenever I'm in the company of hypersexual women, especially when they dress provocatively. I won't stand for swearing either. I'm much more attracted to women who have the self-respect to think, speak, act and dress with decency.